Santa Reincarnated

 

This past summer J and I made an executive decision after a long time discussing all probable outcomes as well as the ethics involved revealing to Xavier a long held secret many parental units hold tightly to until they feel the time is right. Many parents are saved making this delicate decision by their own kids professing beforehand that they already know the secret. Some of you end up like us, having to walk a hairline wire to ensure you don’t forever damage your child.

I’m talking about revealing the truth about Santa.

 

Every parental unit has their own reasons that fuel this decision if they have to make it. Ours were because Xavier was now eleven, would be close to twelve by the time this Christmas would arrive, and because he had started the dreaded middle school era of his life. Xavier is so exuberant in his convictions of anything, that our greatest fear would be the topic of Santa discussed at the lunch table, and after Xavier professing his unwavering belief that a big guy in a red suit living at the North Pole flew around the world in one night to give presents t good boys and girls would cause his new friends to look at him with less respect and tease him. Or they would be the ones to tell him the truth and he would come home, trust broken in us.

 

We also wanted to be the ones to explain because while the mythical figure Santa may not exists as a corporal being, he does exist as the spirit of Christmas. We wanted to explain to Xavier that Santa is the symbol of love, family, charity, thoughtfulness, generosity, all wrapped up in a stocking hat and big black boots.

So we approached him cautiously one day as a team. We asked him what his thoughts were about Santa. And we asked him if he knew that there was a super-secret club he could join, that only adults and mature kids could join? And would he like to join it, with the understanding that once he did, he couldn’t undo it?

He was resistant. Defensive. Wary. Were we trying to tell him that Santa wasn’t real??? (No, not really.) Of COURSE Santa was real!!!! How dare we imply otherwise! Have we been lying to him this whole time?

So we left it then with him understanding that that was not what we were doing, and that if he became interested in talking more, to come to us.

Over the past several months, Xavier would approach us and ask us if Santa was real. We’d ask him what he believed. He said Santa was real. Ok then, that’s awesome.

And then came Thanksgiving Day. We were hanging out at my mom’s house when Xavier approached me.

 

“I think I’m ready to join the super-secret club.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok then. Sit down and let me tell you some history about Christmas and Santa.”

“You mean mythology of Santa?”

“No, I mean his history.”

 

And so he sat, and my friend G guarded the back door so no other kids could show up unexpectedly, and I told Xavier the history of Santa. About a guy long ago named Nicholas, and how he helped out a poor family with three daughters who had no money for a dowry. How he slipped into their house and left dowry’s for them so they could have a chance at a good life that would have otherwise been impossible. And how that one good deed resonated so far that he was made a saint, St. Nicholas. And how that story spread far and wide across the world, and people latched onto it and started to echo that idea, about charity, love, generosity, etc.

And then I explained that while Santa is not what he always thought he was, he is real in the idea of Christmas. And that we adults continue to echo his deeds, varied over the years, to keep that meaning alive. And when a child becomes old enough, the parents ask them to join in and continue the message for his siblings, and later on, his own children.

Xavier, despite my fears, ate it up. It was like a light went on, and his understanding of Christmas grew larger, deeper, and more meaningful. And after I explained this all to him I asked him if he would like to be Santa with us this year. And he smiled and nodded…..but added a few caveats to it ;)

He didn’t want to help choose the gifts, because he still wanted to be surprised. He didn’t want to help wrap those gifts up, but did want to be the one to put them under the tree. He did want to help stuff his brothers stockings, but not his own. And he didn’t want to be around when J and I placed the rest of the family gifts under the tree. All easily done.

Since then, he has come up to me to ask me for more information. He’s asked about the Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy. He wants to know how we can hide eggs so well, and insists that I am part ninja for getting his teeth out from under his pillow while slipping money and a note as a replacement. He wanted to know why the Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day stopped coming, and was he really scared of the traps set out to capture him by Xavier or was Dad (in charge of leaving chocolate coins out) just forgetful? (Yes)

I’ve watched Xavier over the past week as we set up our tree, do our advent calendars, and listen to holiday music. I’ve watched him cock his head once in a while, lost in thought. And then I’ve watched a little smile creep up on the side of his face as if he knows something others don’t. As he realizes just how important this secret club really is, and he is both in awe of how we parental units do it every year, and how he is now responsible for such a big secret.

And he is so proud to be a part of it.

 

I am too. I couldn’t have asked for it to have gone any better. May my two other children find the reincarnation of Santa just as awe inspiring when they too join our club.

Let The Games Begin

 

 

A long time ago, in a state far, far away, I met a guy. Let’s call him G. We met one summer day in the hallway of the high school we were hoping to attend, after taking a personality test this particular school demanded to ensure that we were right for their establishment.  I believe his first comment to me was a wonderful mimicry of the test we had just finished, laced with sarcasm, my favorite type of humor.

“Do you like working inside or outside? Do you like working with people or by yourself? Do you like light or dim environments? Well, do you?!”

 

 

It was friendship at first sarcasm.

 

 

A few months later I met a girl. We’ll name her R. We chose the same vocation to learn during high school, and we became fast friends. Over the years, R and I have had many adventures together, and I can honestly say that I am a better person because of her.  And over time, my two friends G and R, met, fell in love, and they tied the knot. All was great! Except for that tiny fact that six years ago J and I moved far away and our families were separated by many miles.  Sure, we tried to visit one another, but traveling with kids half way up the east coast gets expensive and drives you batty when you are forced to listen to 12 hours of “Are we there yet? How about now? Now?” …. And that’s just coming from the adults. Ok ok not all of the adults. Just G.

 

To help combat the sad fact that it was more difficult to wreak fun havoc together with us being so far away, we would joke that it may be a good thing for the rest of the world to keep a few states separating us. G and I are the male/female versions of one another. As he well put it the other day on my FB page:

“Despite what you would hear, the reason for this separation is for the benefit for all of mankind. You see if we get together, sarcasm, at EPIC levels, will occur. The likes of which you have never seen!

I've seen brave men weep at just a few seconds of hearing us together. It's so bad it has been banned by the Geneva Convention…”

 

And while I wish that I could say that he has a tendency to exaggerate, aside from the Geneva Convention aspect, that’s pretty accurate. I’ve always wondered if he and I were somehow twins secretly separated at birth.  I blame him for my first F ever in school. Technically I can admit that it was the teachers fault. She didn’t know as all the other teachers did, to not seat us next to each other. She learned within one semester after she spent more time every single day, trying to get us to shut up and pay attention to the lesson at hand than she did teaching said lesson.

 

 

 

And don't even get me started on the three of us together in high school drama club. Even I can admit that sometimes there are some stories that should never be told. 

 

 We’ve all known each other now for over twenty years. You would think that we would have mellowed out with age. You would also be terribly, horribly wrong. What’s even scarier to the unsuspecting public is that we also have children that are only six days apart. Mini us, who will be in the same grade, year after year. It’s almost like history is repeating itself.  

 

But now the fun begins. Because last week G and R finally followed in my family’s footsteps and they have moved down here. Only ten minutes separate our households. After twenty years, we are now closer to each other than we have ever been, and I am not sure if this town can survive all of us, and our offspring, together.

 

The master plans have already begun. It’s not even time for kindergarten registration and we are already planning on how to get our kids together in the same school, the same track and sometimes, the same teacher.  And if we were hard to handle many years ago, I can already imagine the phone calls and parent/teacher meetings we parental units will be dragged into via the mischievous actions of our boys combined. I plan on gifting Soren’s future teachers with ample supplies of booze, just to stay on her good side.

Holidays have just become that much more entertaining (and loud). Who am I kidding? EVERY DAY has become more entertaining (and loud).  It’s been a week since they have arrived and every morning we all gather together for coffee and breakfast. I’ll admit that I am surprised that the local police have not yet stopped by to recite the appropriate domestic volume decibel level. Halloween, our favorite holiday of the year, is going to be amazing. For us. For the people who hand put pretzels instead of proper candy?.... Not so much (Yes, I’m looking at *you* mom!)

 

And for the first time ever, we all have a giant village in which to raise our children together. While we may not technically share familial blood, sometimes family is who you choose. And we choose each other. Add my mother into the equation, who lives ten doors down from G and R, and our kids will have more adults raising them than they will know what to do with. And it’s going to be awesome. Our kids will either grow up with the most fantastic rounded personalities, getting the best each of us has to offer, or we’ll be pooling our money into accounts to pay for our children’s therapy. Either way, our kids will have an interesting childhood that they will be able to regale their own children with. Simultaneously, G and R will, for the first time, have friends who also understand what it means to be a Parental Unit. With our new village of family, they will finally be able to go out as a couple, and relax, knowing that their child is being cared for. That is more precious to Parental Units than anything else you could offer them. A chance to recharge and remember why they thought having offspring was a good idea in the first place.

 

So. Here we are. Fast friends since we were mere kids ourselves, having children of our own, and now living closer together than ever before. All I can say local readers is this:

 

Brace yourselves. The fun is about to begin. And just in case it’s ever needed for legal matters, I blame G.

 

 

Pool Reflections

 

The boys on their final pool day of the season

 

 

 

 

This past Thursday most of the fam spent enjoying our last day at the G-Rents pool. It's closing for the season despite the fact that it will stay hot enough for pool dipping for at least anther month. We can't complain though. Most pools around here close on Labor Day weekend while ours stayed open a bit longer.

Since the day it opened for the season, we have spent as much time as possible at the pool. In the past four months, my kids have grown a crazy amount, in many different ways.

For example, Xavier finished elementary school. He started at a middle school in July where he knew no one. At this time, he has just finished his first quarter, made honor roll, and most importantly, has created a lot of new friendships. His phone is off the hook, with friends texting him after school. His social life has grown as has his self confidence.

In the past few months Ashe has finished Kindergarten, started first grade, and finished his quarter with excellent grades. He also gained the confidence in the pool to let those swimming lessons kick in, and now he's swimming like a fish! Ashe has no fear of the deep end, of swimming under water, or even doing somersaults. In the beginning of pool season, he was hesitant to go further than three feet. Now I can't get him out of the water =)

And look at Soren in the photo above. In the beginning of the season where he is standing, he had to stand on his toes in order to keep his head above water. Now he stands shoulders above. Soren learned the most in the water this year. At first he refused to leave the stair area. Over time, we were able to get him to carefully tip toe out to G-pa in the middle of the shallow end. Later, we worked on him feeling confident lying on his back while we held him. And on the last day of the season, he kicked his way out to the deep end on his floating Yoshi (with us adults nearby). But even more impressive was when he decided that he wanted to be like Ashe and put his face all the way under water. And he did, over and over again. He was SO proud of himself, as were we!


I'm loathe to relinquish pool season. The boys and I, along with the G-Rents, really have a fantastic time playing together, learning new things, and celebrating the joys of life in the water. It's a place where fun rules, imaginations run wild, and new tricks are learned and shared. We'll find other ways, but the pool will most certainly be missed.

The boys have accomplished so much in such a short time, and I know that next year, when the pool opens again, they will not be the same boys they are here. They will have grown more, learned more, have had more stories to tell. We'll also have more friends and family to join us, as my close friends and their son are moving down. Next year's pool season will be amazing.

But until then, we'll find other ways to have family fun, to learn and grow, and enjoy life together. And so I say to the pool:

 

"Thanks for a most memorable summer. I won't say goodbye. Instead, I'll see you soon."