Scrapbook 2013

Happy holidays everyone! It is that time of year when I pull out every photo of the boys I have taken over the past year, pick my favorites, and create my virtual scrapbook. It's always one of my favorite projects to work on.

This year was a crazy rollercoaster ride for us at the SRM household. We've had new additions added to our family (which reminds me to post the blog about our newest family member... must get on that soon). We've had family move closer, family friends move from the north east to join us in NC, Xavier started middle school, and so much more.  My apologies for the lack of reading material. I am finding that free time where I am actually awake and coherent is nonexistent lately. Maybe for Christmas this year I will ask Santa for more time in the day. I wonder if I've been good enough?

Anyways I hope that all of you are doing well, enjoying the end of the year, and I raise my glass of spiked eggnog to you in celebration. Enjoy the humorous antics of my boys, my gift to you!

It's Been Seven Years, Ashe

It's always amazing to me when another year has gone by and I look at my boy standing there, so proud, so excited that he is a new age, and yet, I can remember in vivid detail the day he was born. For each parent and child I am sure that this is common. But Ashe... Ashe is special. He was born on December 12 at 12:11 pm.

12/12 12:11

 

 

Do you know how many times, my lovely Ashe, that I have been asked why I didn't hold you in for one more minute so that you were born  12/12 12:12pm? Do you know how many times I have had to hold back from smacking those idiots? Of course, they do not realize that by that time I had been holding you back for ten minutes while the doctor ran as fast as she could to make it from the opposite side of the hospital, after already trying to keep you at bay from being born in the car during a five minute car ride to the hospital. Or that she barely skidded into the room when I yelled "Catch!" and you were born. And of course, they don't realize that, let's be honest here, there really is no such thing as holding you back.

The fact that you were born on 12/12 at 12:11 and not 12:12 is just another reminder that you are the writer, performer, and conductor to your own epic soundtrack of your life. You are the hero of your story, unstoppable, undefeated! No one can take that away from you, nor should anyone try.

Seven years, my love. Seven years you have graced us with your vibrant soul. It seems that not nearly enough time has passed for you to be seven while also trying to remember what life was like before you entered the world like a comet in a blaze of glory, hell bent to make your entrance to this glorious world known far and wide. I can barely remember life without you. I don't want to know life without you.

You make life so much more! More of everything! More fun! More loud! More inspiring! More chaotic! More frustrating! More fulfilling! More worthwhile!!!

You, my child, will go far in life in whatever you do. You own this stage called life, and you know it. And while sometimes this knowledge you keep creates many situations where I want to pull out my hair in frustration as you make some sarcastic comment with that little smirk on your face, totally confident in yourself, that confidence you exude as a child will be a huge strength as you grow and reach maturity. It will lift you up when you stumble and push you to move forward when many people would just stop and stay down after their fall.

My advice to you child, as you grow... don't stay down when you stumble. Don't ever stay down. You were made, not to fall, but to fly. And you will fly high.


I watch you now, at seven years old. So confident. So funny. So amazingly smart. So stubborn. So full of life. Everyone you touch is forever changed for the better. You make everyone laugh. You make them smile. You make them think. You make them wonder in delight. Seven years old and you can do all that and more.

Ashe, you are amazing. Never change your ways for anyone. And please, never forget that you are SO loved, that I can't even begin to describe to you in a blog, or through our chats just how much you are loved and cherished by me, your father, your brothers, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends.....

You are SO loved. And my love, may I wish for you today the most happiest of birthdays, and an awe filled year ahead of you.

Happy birthday Ashe!

Tracking Out

The past two weeks I have watched my newsfeed on FB spammed with photos of kids going back to school. Some parents are very excited, doing the happy dance that the long summer is in it's death throes, and their little children are off to a regularly scheduled calendar. Other parental units are sad, wishing that the time did not go by so quickly, and how they are counting down the days to the first big vacation time, months away.

And here I am, watching these photos scroll by as I contemplate that my kids are about to track out this week, and I have got to get off my ass and figure out how to keep them from killing each other for the next three weeks.

Year round school rocks. I can't advocate it enough. Nine weeks of school, then three weeks off, all year round, non stop. It's perfect. The kids are just about brain fried by the time the ninth week rolls around and everyone is ready for a break of homework. The third week of track out, the kids are itching to get back into a schedule and see their friends on a regular basis again.

It's this third week that makes me seek comfort in mojitos though. By that third week of carefree days, the kids are strangling one another an hour after waking up, deciding Gladiator style who wins the right to whatever electronic they are fighting to the death for.

I try my best to keep them all occupied during vacation. We live in an area that is filled to the brim with family friendly places and activities. The problem lies in the expense. While I have lots of great ideas of trips to the zoo, beach, aquarium, etc, many things can get pricey. And with three kids to haul around, it gets pricey FAST.

So I try to pick one or two costly things per track out that we can do, and the rest of the time I look for free things. We'll hit a lot of parks, do some hiking, lounge in the G-Rents pool. We'll have movie nights at home, head to the library to pick out bedtime books, and wander around a few of the free museums.

And this track out we're hitting the beach (rare treat) for two days and a night, our most expensive outing for five. It's the parental units way of showing pour gratitude for doing a kick ass job in school.

But even with all of these great ideas, there is still plenty of downtime at home. And that's where the fighting comes in. Each child, through genetic coding, is a lover of all things techy. Xavier likes the computer. Ashe loves the WII U. Soren adores the Xbox. Two of these are on one TV and the third is off in a corner, with a chair that has melded it's contours to the shape of my oldest rump.

After watching the kids this weekend and seeing how they glue themselves to an electronic device until we pry their wee hands off controllers (sometimes by force) I am going to reinstitute the track out rule of having a set time per day the kids can play. I am sure I will allow it to lapse on those days when I just need quiet for an hour or two. I'm not perfect, and can admit guilt in sometimes taking the easy way out when it's either that or run out the door screaming like a loony bin, pulling my hair out. But I'll do my best.

And maybe, instead of having them initiate the Gladiator death fights each morning, I can try to make taking turns fun. Maybe I can do some contests. Or see who can help me clean up the most. Or who can whine the least per day. I'll get creative.

Parents who sent their children to school recently, I acknowledge your happiness or sadness as you send your child off to school. I get it. And while I think of you in whatever feeling you are embracing, think of me as well, while I feel both sides simultaneously as MY kids start vacation.


Slainte!

Learning to Love Math

Add caption

 

 

 

Middle school is a whole new experience when it comes to homework. It takes a lot of organization and concentration to get through the piles of work after school. And homework counts for a lot of the total grade. Now add on top of that an ADHD kid with an ADHD mom, and it’s crazy town from 2:30 on, Monday through Friday.

 

In order to make sure that the lesson of organization is pounded into Xavier’s skull on a daily basis, each day when he gets home, we go through his binder, folders, and backpack, cleaning, sorting, and prepping. I also use the nifty school website each afternoon to list out the homework he has, in case he forgot to write it down. It’s only happened once or twice, but it’s a great way to double check. It also helps me because I can’t read Xavier’s scribbles even if my life depended on it.

 

Every weekday, Xavier will decide which lessons to tackle first, and we discuss them as he works on them. I’m finding myself fascinated with the lesson plans he comes home with, and while I don’t help him by giving him answers, I do enjoy learning as he looks stuff up. For example, the other day his social studies homework was to write his name in ancient Sumerian. While he did his own name, I sat down and wrote out the names of the rest of our family.  In Language Arts he had to write a sci-fi Cinderella story. I loved showing him how to make a note timeline for his book, and the next thing I know he has four pages fully written, and so proud of himself.

 

There is one lesson though, that I sit down and do with him every day, and this is math. Now let me clarify: I don’t “do” the math for him. But we’ve established a routine where we each grab a notebook, do the same problem separately, and then check against each other (and the calculator) to see who got it right. And you know what? It’s fun!!!!

 

This is coming from someone who loathes math with the utmost passion! I hated math, still do, and yet… I am actually enjoying (re)learning the mathematical concepts of pre-algebra. A big part of it is because I love watching Xavier grasp the concept we are working on at the time, or figuring it out myself and having the ability to teach it in a way that he understands. That “AHA!” moment he gets is priceless.

 

But I am also enjoying it for myself. I am finding that all of a sudden, the concepts are so much clearer to grasp than they were when I was in middle school myself. Maybe it’s because it is taught differently than when I learned. Whereas when I was in school the formulas were taught by rote, now they are taught with theory. Instead of “this is how you do problem x” it’s “Here is how to figure out problem x and why!”

 

Xavier can briefly describe the theory to me and it makes complete sense! And when the numbers all add up correctly, I feel so excited. Math has eluded me my entire life, and there has always been that teeny tiny voice in the back of my head that whispers “you’re not intelligent enough to grasp math. It’s too far above you.” But it’s not, so nyah!

 

So this becomes a win/win situation. Xavier explains the theory even if it hasn’t clicked. I’ll try a problem and it clicks. Then I can go to him and explain it in different ways, or show him tricks until it clicks for him. And then we sit together with our notebooks, and try to see who can get the correct answer first. We compare our answers, double check with the calculator, and if one of us is wrong, we try to see where we went wrong. It’s become a fascinating way to instill the current concept we're working on and double checking to Xavier, while also making it more enjoyable for him. At the same time, I am also learning, and appreciating the lesson.

 

While I don’t, for any reason, wish to be back in middle school, I am having more fun than I could have thought in helping Xavier stay focused and soak up as much information as he can. It makes me really appreciate how teaching has evolved over the years, and I am very pleased with the school he goes to.

Bonding Over SoundBytes

The other day I was searching the web for information on an upcoming game that I am beyond stoked for, when I came across a gem of a sound wave from the first MMOPG I ever played, Ever Quest. If you have played this game before in your life, you recognize how this particular game was the platform upon which all other MMORPGs created themselves around. And if you have played this game before, you can also conjure up in your mind how much this game affected you in a thousand different ways.

 

If you don’t play games or have no clue what I am talking about, this may sound strange, and that we gamers overhype how much this particular game has changed our lives. And that’s ok. Only those who have played Ever Quest can really understand the importance of its existence.

 

Ok so back to the sound byte. I was perusing a forum about this new game, when I stumbled upon a post where the writer said this sound *HAS* to be in the new game. Curious, I opened the link provided, and nearly jumped out of my seat in surprise, a visceral reaction long ingrained into my brain from years spent playing Ever Quest and Ever quest 2 (you have to copy/paste the link, it won't open up automatically):

 

 http://www.rozziland.com/eq/skelatt1.wav

 

If you played EQ or EQ2 and don’t know what that sound is from you can now hand in your gamer card. You don’t deserve it. Hand it over. If you want to earn it back, go play on the FTP progression server for a few days and then come talk to me.

 

For the rest of you non gamers out there in bloggy land, let me take a moment to explain. My friend S, who hates when I geek up and talk games, you can go ahead now, throw your head back and start snoring.

 

That sound is from a skeleton, which would rise up out of the ground at any time and try to kill you to become its corpse bride. It would laugh the entire time it tried to decapitate you, which gave the fight a very sick feel, each and every time.

 

 

So of course I had to find a way to use it in my daily life! After fiddling around, I was able to make it into my text alert. Now, whenever my friends or family text me, I instinctively jump and glance behind me. No really, I do.

Xavier came home to find me fiddling with the sound, and he asked what the heck was it? So I sat down and gave him a history lesson in games. Being a gamer himself he was fascinated. And despite the fact that he never played EQ (unless you count him hanging out in our arms as a newborn babe while J and I played) he thought that the sound and the idea behind it was awesome. So he wanted it too.

 

After dinner, the two of us sat down and worked on our phones to have the skeleton laugh as our text alerts. Of course, we had to test it out. A lot. Just to make sure it was working. On both phones. Late at night. For at least an hour.

 

Thank goodness we have unlimited texting!

 

 

Point of this story is, our gamer family bonds over the weirdest shit. I can’t wait until Xavier gets out of school and starts texting me that he’s on his way home =)

The No Good, Very Bad Day

Each of us has had those days where, no matter how you try to change it, it still ends up awful. Kids are no different. Sometimes even they can have really bad days. Soren had one of those this week.

Ever since Soren hit his fourth birthday, we seem to be dealing with a regression on behavior and tantrums. Why? No fucking clue. Nothing has changed except how many fingers he holds up when someone asks how old he is. But something clicked in his miniature human brain that tells him to throw out of control screaming and crying fits over the smallest thing.


It's driving me batty.

We parental units have been consistent in calming him down and reminding him to use his words, not his volume. Once calmed down he nods his little head in understanding and says that he will. And he does....for ten minutes.... on a good day.

But today the shit just hit the fan, and while it is only 12pm as I write this, I am seriously debating on whether or not to just put him to bed until tomorrow. It may save both of our sanity.



This morning I had a play date set up with two of my mom friends and their kids. Soren has grown up with these kids since he was born, and they are all great friends. We see each other usually once a week if not more. All the kids get along fantastically, and there are rarely any issues. Oh sure, there will be a scuffle here and there over the ownership of some random toy, or tattles if someone isn't taking turns. But usually they work it out with a little bit of help from one of us moms.

I don't know what was any different today, if anything really was. We had a decent morning with no issues. There was no foreshadowing of the epic disaster that followed. Soren was excited that his friends were coming over. And when his friends arrived and trooped up the stairs, Soren was there with a big smile on his face to greet them. All of the kids headed to the toys while we moms hung around the kitchen table in full view, drinking coffee and catching up.

Five minutes later there was this ear piercing scream and wailing coming form Soren. I ran over to him, thinking that he was dying. I grabbed him, held him close and asked what was wrong. He hit his ear on the "Stupid recliner". I checked his ear (it was fine), gave him hugs, kisses, and cuddles, and let him know that there were no cuts, bruises, or blood, and that he would survive.

Well he was having NONE of that!!! Oh no! He was DYING! And he needed his BLANKET! And I had to go get it. And I said, no hon, you can get it. And he flipped out.

Stood there in the middle of the room and screamed bloody murder. I just looked at him until he ran out of breath, and before he could ramp up again I nudged him to the stairs. He went, begrudgingly.

Once all was calm and the kids were happy again, the moms turned back to their coffee. We had about two minutes before the screaming began again...from Soren, of course.

This time it was because he decided that today was "Soren's Day", and that meant that he had first choice of all toys, including the ones his friends brought over. Naturally, his friends took issue with this. I would have too. So I told him that he could share and take turns, but that his friends brought those toys. He also had to share his toys. Soren declared "NO! IT IS SOREN'S DAY!!!! I GET TO CHOOSE!"

And screaming commenced when I pulled the mom is boss card.

Next he started a full out fit because his friends were playing with his toys. The ones he was not playing with.

Then,  while all of the kids were playing nerf swords, he threw his sword ( he says accidentally) it smacked one of his friends in the face, causing his friend to cry. Which caused Soren to start screaming and crying. And wouldn't stop screaming and crying even after apologizing and his friend forgave him. And so, after roughly 90 minutes of non stop meltdowns, I just sent him to his room for a break to calm down. He stomped up the stairs screeching and gnashing his teeth, and continued this tirade long after his banishment.

I joke often about drinking during the day, but today was one of those days that I was seriously eyeing the vodka bottle on my kitchen counter and wondering how good it would go with my coffee.

My friends kids wanted to know what was wrong with Soren. So I sat down and asked them if they ever had one of those days, where nothing seems to go right, and it feels like a very bad day. They nodded their little heads sagely, and told me of some of their bad days. I nodded and said that like them, Soren was just having one of those no good, very bad days. And that everyone has them, even people in Australia. They understood, and as they left, they hoped that Sorens day would get better.


Me too, kids. Me too.

Pretty Little Pottymouth

I'm  curser. When I'm out with my adult friends I could make a hardcore sailor blush within three minutes. I minimize my potty mouth around the kids, but I readily admit that sometimes I fuck up. In order to cover my arse, I have taught my children the golden rule to swearing:

Swears are adult words. One earns the right to swear by reaching the wonderful age of 18.

For the most part, my kids get it. Xavier does not swear, but does ask from time to time if certain words are adult words or accessible to him: like crap, suck, etc. I tell him it totally depends upon the context. If you want to say this sucks, I'm ok with that. However, yelling "You suck"! at the computer (or the G-rents) is not acceptable.

Ashe never swears. When he is upset, he opts for the simple use of volume, and screams so loudly that it is a wonder we have not yet used our savings to purchase new windows.

Soren, on the other hand, is still learning. And once in awhile, I find myself doing three things at once;

• slamming my head against the wall for being an idiot and swearing once too many times for Soren to parrot back what I say
• Informing Soren that, while his use of verbal insults has been used in the proper context, he is still not old enough to use said curse word for another 15 years
• laughing so hard at his little boy voice pronouncing "fuck" so perfectly, that I begin to cry

 

 



A couple of weeks ago our kitten Bax went missing, as she sometimes does. She refuses to meow when she is stuck somewhere, instead believing that at some point in time, her awesome family will find her. Either that, or she is just thrilled in her little feline way, of finding a good spot where she can hide from the boys antics for a few hours.

When the kids realize that Bax really is missing, everything stops and all three boys go a hunting. Up and down three flights of stairs they yell "BAX! OH BAAAX! WHERE ARE YOU??!" until they open up a closet door and find her hiding behind the Christmas tree, purring away.

This time, I was sitting on the couch with J, reading a book, while the boys were hunting for their feline companion. Up and down the stairs, up and down. I wasn't paying them much mind until I heard this little voice ask in exasperation "Where is that fucking cat?!"
"Soren!" Xavier gasps. "You can't SAY stuff like that!"
"Why not? Mom says it all the time."

I slowly lifted my head up from the kindle and sheepishly peeked over at J. Who was, of course, giving me the look of death.


My fault.



Not too long after, while the older boys were in school, I was sitting on the recliner catching up on the news while Soren played with his plushies quietly on the floor beside me. In each hand he held a Mario and a Luigi doll, and was pretending to make them talk to one another. This is fairly typical in our house so I wasn't paying too much mind to the actual conversation until it was too late.

Mario: Oh Luigi, what shall we do today?
Luigi: I don't know Mario. Hey let's check on Princess Peach
Mario: OK... (silence for a moment)
Luigi: Hey?! Where is Princess Peach?! Was she kidnapped again?
Mario: What the fuck...?


"SOREN!"
Looking up with an Oh shit look: "Yeah mom?"
"What did you just say?!"
"Ummmm... nothing. I wasn't talking."
"I just heard you."
"Oh no, mommy, that wasn't me. That was Mario!"

Ahh yes, that foul mouthed Mario, who just realized that his girlfriend has been kidnapped yet again by that asshole Bowser. Of course it was him and not perfect little Soren.


Yup.


And then there was the most recent incident.

Friday afternoon my mom dropped the boys off at home after a week of fun at her house. One of the first things Soren told me was the Ashe had insisted that he said a bad word, but he promised he didn't.

"Oh yeah" I say?
"Yeah Mommy. Ashe said I said shit, but I didn't."
"Well I'm glad you didn't say that word", I reply, trying very hard to keep a serious face to match his own.
"Nope, I didn't say shit. Ashe is a liar. I was mad that he said I said shit. Cause I can't say shit until I'm 18. Right?"
"Right" I respond, losing the war of the straight face. "And do you remember why you can't say those kid of words until you're 18"?
"Because they are grown up words. And I will be a grown up at 18."
"Correct."
Soren tilts his head to the side, considering his next words carefully. "Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"Can I say shit when I'm 17?"
"No, honey. Not until you're 18."
"Dammit."




I can't wait until these kids have kids of their own.

Video Games Live Symphony

***WARNING: This post contains a lot of photos.***

We have a ritual in our family, that after the end of the school year, J & I offer the boys a congratulatory gift. It's our way of saying thanks for doing your best in school, you're done so let's party!!!



Usually we offer the kids a monetary value so that they can buy something that they've had their eyes on. This is big, because the *only* times we parental units buy the boys something is if it's their birthday, Xmas, they have done something amazing and we want to say thank you, or the end of school. The rest of the time they earn whatever they buy through their allowance.

This year however, as I was in the car listening to my AM news radio, an interview with the NC Symphony was on and I heard about an upcoming concert that I thought Xavier and Ashe would go CRAZY for. It was the first ever in Raleigh, Video Games Live symphony: a symphony of music straight out of video games.

My thought was that this would be the perfect way to introduce the symphony to the boys. What a wonderful cultural experience, catered to their very hobbies!

J & I offered the boys the option for their usual shopping outing, or this unique opportunity for their graduation gift. They did not disappoint me, and by a unanimous vote, we were going to the symphony.

One of the cool side events going on would be a costume contest of your favorite video game character. Ashe was all set. Since he has been wearing the same Link costume on an almost daily basis for two years, it was a no brainer.

Xavier decided that he also wanted to dress up... mere hours before the concert started. Of course it couldn't be simple either. Oh no! It had to be something elaborate. He decided that he wanted to be Altair, from Assassins Creed.

Altair from Assassins Creed

I had no clue where to start. I don't sew well, nor did I have a random white bed sheet lying around the house. Instead, I tossed every article of fabric we owned around my bedroom, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to make even a similar costume for Xavier. Then my eyes landed on a black pillowcase, and I remembered that I had two cloaks I used for Halloween last year that might work. Add in my leather bracers, my calf high boots, a pair of khakis, and a plastic dagger.... and we might have something.

I whipped out the pillowcase, grabbed my scissors, and got to work. 90 minutes and 25 safety pins later, and we were ready for the symphony!

Xavier (Altair) & Ashe (Link) ready to go to their first symphony

Now, I was asked by friends why I didn't join the boys and dress up too? I love dressing up and would have done so except for one factor. Xavier was wearing 2/3 of my go to costume. I think the only two things he didn't use of mine were my leather pants (which I wore that night) and  my corset (which would have looked awkward on my eleven year old son, and I wasn't going down that road!)

Posing with the boys

While I did not get the chance to dress up due to my motherly sacrifice, J actually did! Not that anyone would know it. But I promise you, J dressed up as his avatar....his Xbox avatar. To prove to everyone that J thoughtfully picked out his costume for the symphony, I did a side by side comparison of J's Xbox avatar and J himself outside the symphony:

pretty uncanny how accurate that is, huh?

We get to the concert hall an hour before it starts. Within moments of us pushing open the doors, Xavier and Ashe were bombarded by adults, both in costume and not, exclaiming over how cute they were, or how cool they looked. Both boys ate this up, Ashe swinging his sword around yelling "HYAH!" or playing his plastic ocarina. Xavier would pose, head tilted down, looking up under the shadow of his hood, then pulling out a plastic dagger from his bracer. And the crowd ate it up like crack.

I put the bys names down for the costume contest, something I thought would be a simple affair out in the lobby. But oh no. When the time came for the contest to start, the guy in charge started leading everyone and their parents through a long corridor, down a set of stairs, and finally into a stairwell, where the contestants were prepped to go on stage. Huh. Didn't see that coming.

While J & I stayed backstage, all contestants walked on stage to a thundering applause. I was able to sneak out and grab a few photos and a quick vid of Xavier and Ashe:

Ashe & Xavier onstage with another Link, Princess Peach, and TF2 sniper

I wish I had stayed out a little longer to get the crowds reaction when it came time to vote. The crowd voted by screaming. The MC would put his hand over a contestant, and gauge the crowds reaction. When it came time for Ashe and Xavier, the crowd flipped out. I mean, you would have thought that we were at a Bieber concert and the audience was filled with prepubescent girls. It. Was. Crazy!!!!! It became clear that the winner was between the two brothers. The MC had a hard time, going back and forth a few times trying to determine the winner:

MC: Little Link?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Link?

Crowd WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Link? Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

By one decibel, Ashe won, as J says, on cuteness alone. Xavier was extremely gracious about the whole thing, and seemed to be just fine knowing that it was only his height that made him lose. And while Ashe had his photo taken and posted on all sorts of media sites last night, both he and Xavier were treated like rock stars for the rest of the evening. If they went to the bathroom, they had to stop and pose for photos, high fives, and hair ruffles.

Photo of Ashe taken by the NC Symphony after his win.

Finally, we sat down to listen to the symphony. And I have to say, that while the tickets were quite pricey for a family as large as ours, EVERY PENNY spent was WORTH IT! We have not had that much fun in a long time. It wasn't a normal concert, where everyone had to hush hush. We were told to clap, whistle, scream, cheer, holler, any time we felt like it. And we did. Or maybe I should say *I* did. I almost lost my voice for cheering so loud, and I'm pretty sure that if anyone asked, J would have claimed that he had no idea who the crazy woman sitting by him and his children were. Someone should lock her up already! I was screaming and cheering more than I do at the Red Sox game at Fenway (and coming from a native masshole, that's saying something).

Xavier and Ashe, like me, were completely enthralled. While they did not know some of the older games (like Contra, or Castlevania), they cheered when Zelda, Mario, Sonic, and others came on that they knew and loved.

For four hours, minus an intermission, we sat and listened to the amazing journey the symphony took us on. And at the very end, after the symphony had given us one encore and had taken it's final bow, the co-creator of Video Games Live, Tommy Tallarico, and Laura Intravea (flute Link for anyone who watches youtube) came onstage, and started a sing a long with the audience, to one of our families favorite gaming songs, Portals "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton (one of our favorite composers/singers. Look him up, you won't regret it): 

After the concert was over, we asked the boys what they thought of their experience. And the one word they kept repeating over and over was that the symphony was EPIC. And now they want to know.... when can we go again?

Mission accomplished!



Educating Post Sex Ed

The other week, Xavier's class finally had "Health Class" which really means intro to sex ed. A few weeks prior, all parents were given a notice with the option to have their kids opt out. Poor Xavier didn't get that choice. We threw him into the deep water of embarrassing videos about puberty with the understanding that he was to ask questions both at school and at home if he didn't understand anything.

 I personally feel that sex ed is a very important issue, a life lesson that needs to be hammered into a child's brain again and again and again. Growing up, my mom was too embarrassed to discuss sex ed. Her idea was to let me learn in school, offer me the option of birth control pills when I felt I needed them, but then when I asked at age 15 (my monthly time was an awful 7 day hell of major pain and BC pills were supposed to help) she freaked out and screamed that I would turn into a slut and sleep with any boy who looked my way. I learned from the pitiful classes they had in school. I learned from books. I learned both good and horrible information, in the girls bathroom at school. And there was no way I was going to lead my children down the same path. My kids would learn everything they asked about in full detail, even if I had to suck it up and answer those questions that leave you red faced and trembling, wishing for a glass of vodka.

I've blogged before about having "The Talk" with Xavier and Ashe during different times in their lives. And knowing that sex ed was coming up in school, Xavier and I have been conversing about things he might learn, and how this was just a small portion of sex ed. I warned him that it would be embarrassing, but it was so, so important that he had to pay attention. And if he had questions, he needed to ask: ask the teachers, ask his dad, ask me. Anyone, so long as he asked. He promised me that he would, although he felt more comfortable asking me than someone in school. I actually felt pleased that this was so. I feel like I passed some parenting test, to know that my son felt comfortable enough to ask me questions about sexual health.

The day of sex ed came and I picked him up early from school. I asked him how things went. He said it was embarrassing. He learned about how he would get hair all over, including "down there". He wanted to know if he could shave it. I said sure, but it might be easier to wax instead. He blanched. He then said how he learned about how girls get their period, and how he was so happy he wasn't a girl. I agreed.

Then he said he learned how boys would have wet dreams. And I asked him if he knew what a wet dream was. And he said "Yeah, it's when you have a dream about wet things: like fire hydrants, hoses, rain and stuff."





........................



OK I admit it. I busted out laughing my ass off. Seriously though, who wouldn't?!!!


After I calmed down and my guffaws subsided into sporadic giggles, I explained what a wet dream really was. His face morphed into a look of horror as he began to grasp the full implications of what a wet dream meant for him. He asked more questions, I answered. Back and forth we went, covering everything else he had learned in school to make sure that he didn't have any other misconceptions.

And at the end, our deal was that when he started having wet dreams, if he didn't feel comfortable telling me, that was cool. All he needed to do was bring down his bed sheets and I would wash them for him, no questions asked. He was cool with that, and thanked me for being such an awesome mom. As we finished up the convo on sex ed, he said that if he had any other questions he promised to come to me and ask because it was easier to talk to me than ask at school. And I'm cool with that. Because if school is leaving the impression on kids that wet dreams are about water, than I have to make sure this kid gets the real information.

Losing a Friend

Wednesday night. long after the boys went to bed, J and I were sitting on the couch watching tv when we heard the pitter patter of feet slowly trudging down the stairs. A sniffle followed, ending in a sad sigh. We looked up at the stairs to see Ashe walking down the stairs, tears in his eyes. When we asked him what was the matter, he tearily told us that today, his best friend C told him that they weren't friends anymore.

Since the beginning of kindergarten, Ashe and C have been tight. I mean soul mate tight. C was the only girl in class who was as much of a video game junkie as Ashe was. In fact, I have had several conversations with C's mom, alleviating her fears that C would grow up with no friends because she is such a tom boy. I made it crystal clear that a gamer girl was going to be one of the coolest kids as she grew up, because she would have a ton of guy friends who would become like her big brothers.

Ashe and C loved Zelda. Ashe and C loved Mario. Ashe and C loved lots of things that many other kids didn't. One day, when I took Ashe over to C's house for a play date, he brought his Link doll with him, because he wanted to show it to her. When C opened the door, she was holding the exact same doll in her hand.

When Ashe had his birthday party, he invited C and one other friend, E, from school. When C had her birthday party, Ashe was the only one from school that was invited. C's mom and I used to joke that they really were soul mates.

So when Ashe came downstairs on the verge of tears, my heart tore in two. This was a situation that I know is common as kids learn to navigate friendships. And it was bound to come up one day. But to have it be C, his bestest friend, and not some other child, was a very hard blow. We knew something must have been going on, because over the last two weeks, when we asked Ashe what he did during recess, he would say that he played alone. When asked why, he said that C and the other kids were pretending to play "Skylander" and he wasn't interested in joining. J even contemplated buying the game, just so that Ashe could play it and join in, but Ashe was adamant that Skylander was not something he was interested in.

The story comes out that C was insistent that she wanted to play Skylander every recess and Ashe was insistent that he didn't want to join. So they each would go their separate ways. And this day, C decided that since their "hobbies" diverged away from one another, they were no longer friends. And Ashe kept silent about it all day, until he lay in bed at night, and reality came crashing down on him.

The day your child comes home and tells you he lost his good friend is going to break your heart. I like C's mom a lot, and still I felt the maternal urge to call her up at 10 pm and cry out "Your child broke my child's heart over a flipping video game!!!" It's a natural mother bear instinct to shelter your children from the harsh lessons that life has to offer, even to the six year olds, even when you know logically that the other parents have nothing to do with what transpires.

So instead, J and I sat down and brought him up to cuddle with us on the couch late at night. And we told him that we hurt with him, as we knew how good of friends the two of them had been. But then we started asking about his other friends. What about E? Or W? Tell us about them. So he did.

He told us how that very day, E had made him a paper laptop as a gift. Ashe even got a yellow bucket (le sigh) because she whispered to him during silent time what he wanted on it, and he whispered back. And how W sent him his phone number, and the two of them were excited to get together for a play date over summer vacation.

Within ten minutes, Ashe went from feeling really hurt, to realizing that he has some great friends still. And sure, they may like different things, but that doesn't mean that they can't be friends. And Ashe started to cherish what he did have, friends who liked him for who he was, not what he played.



I know over the years to come we will have similar conversations, both with Ashe and the other boys. It's a rite of passage for kids to go through it again and again. And it sucks, every time. But in the long run, I hope, that they realize that some friendships will come and go, but the true friendships will last over time, no matter what.

Packages

The kids go absolutely crazy whenever a package arrives on our doorstep. It doesn't matter if it's not for them. If the door knocks and the postman leaves a box on our doorstep, the boys will circle it like sharks coming in for a kill until someone finally opens it.

My mother in law loves to send packages to the boys every few weeks. She sends us our favorite Portuguese sweet bread since we can't get it here in NC. She sends the boys clothing. And sometimes she sends a little gift. It really doesn't matter what she sends, the boys adore packages.

I snapped two photos of the boys last time a package arrived. I apologize for the fuzziness, but it was on my phone, and the boys kept moving around. Like I said, they circle the package like a bunch of starving sharks.

After receiving permission, the boys go in for the kill.

He may be the smallest, but he won the battle of the package.
Notice the middle child down for the count in the background.

Firehouse Tour

A few weeks ago, the local mother's website I volunteer at, put together a tour at a local firehouse for the kids. I've been meaning to take the boys to one so that they can truly appreciate our local heroes. We popped in the van and headed out to see exactly what a fireman's job really is.


We headed to the firehouse in downtown Apex, and along with a bunch of other families, met three firemen (and women) on duty. They took us through all of the equipment they use, showed us all of the different trucks and explained the use of each one. We were lucky to see this particular station, as it was the only one in Wake county that was called whenever there was a water emergency. They had special boats, and diving equipment. When asked how often they were called for emergencies in the water, we were told that they are called about three times a month. Just the week before someone had crashed their car into a local lake and they were the ones called for recovery. It really hit home to my kids how important our local firemen (and women) are.




Checking out the equipment


We also got to see a cool truck that allowed the firemen to offroading in case there was a forest fire in one of our local parks. And we saw an antique fire truck from the 30's that is used in parades.




Antique firetruck used in parades


After the tour we got to talk to the firemen and found out one was also from Massachusetts, and had moved down the same time we did. We stood around talking about the Red Sox, why each of us moved down, and why we love NC. I promised him that while I suck at baking, the boys and I would bring him some snacks from the grocery store. The most important thing we learned about firemen? They loooove baked goods and really appreciate when people drop them off from time to time.





The boys posing with their new hero




The boys were in total awe of their local heroes, exactly what I was hoping for. They now realize how important a fireman's job is, how dangerous it can be, and how much they help at saving lives. If you're a parent, I highly recommend you take your kids on a tour of your local fire station. It was such an educational and fun experience for all of us.




Thank you so much to Trianglemommies.com, for putting this great field trip together, and to Station 1 in Apex, NC, for allowing us to join you for a morning!

Kayaking

After months of anticipation, hellish heat keeping us hiding in the air conditioned house, the freakish temperature finally cooled down enough for us to head out this weekend and go kayaking for the first time as a whole fam.

It was a blast.

We started off a little rocky when at first the folks in charge of boat rentals told us that only two per boat and three was not allowed. However, their sign stated three was ok, and I had been around in June to double check their policy and was told three was ok. After a bit of them bumbling around, they grudgingly agreed to the two smaller kids in one kayak with a parent. I admit, I was going to lose my cool if they refused. This is the only kayak rental place in the area and we have been desperate to get out there. And with the kids being so small, they fit perfectly.

J went with Ashe and Soren, while Xavier and I took the other kayak. Since Xavier wasn't paddling I gave him the responsibility of taking photos of anything that looked cool. This blog is a debut of Xavier's leet photography skill. For an amateur, I thought he did a kick ass job. Here are my favorite four:

I love love love this photo that Xavier captured of a Heron. He was fishing in a bend, standing as still as can be. We very slowly made our way to him, and I was surprised he didn't take off, despite our attempts to keep three rowdy kids quiet. But the Heron ignored us and I was able to get our kayak within five feet of the bird so Xavier could grab a few fantastic photos. We watched as he would dive his head down in a burst, to catch up small fish.

In the upper right hand corner you can see a baby turtle sunning itself on a branch. Xavier and I came up behind him and snapped this photo mere moments before the turtle splashed into the water.

This was the elusive picnic bench, usually seen only in public parks on dry land. We captured this one lounging in the shallow water in the middle of the woods. Who knew picnic tables loved the water?

This was a good size turtle sunning itself on a log. We were able to get right up to it before it got annoyed and slid into the water.

We spent about an hour going around the perimeter of the lake, catching sight of dozens of turtles, a bunch of water fowl, and even saw a few fish jumping. The kids decided that kayaking was waaaay better than canoing. They loved that you could go faster, and that mom and dad enjoyed racing, bumping into each other, and generally acting like big kids. If the weather holds, we'll try and go again next weekend.

Swimming Lessons

I finally got Ashe scheduled for swimming lessons and he had his first one this past Tuesday. I've been meaning to do this for forever, but with three kids to reign in, the time always seemed to slip away. If you remember, the first day of school for Xavier and Ashe, I took advantage of having only one kid around to take care of this errand.

Lessons are each Tuesday and Thursday evening for 39 minutes. J and I decided to alternate taking him. J had the first shift.

When the pair came home, Ashe was extremely excited about how much fun his lesson was. He told me all about how he out his face in the water and wasn't scared. And how he will be a super duper swimmer by next week. I looked to J for a more unbiased account. It was nowhere near as enthusiastic as Ashes.

Out of five kids, only one kid was worse than Ashe in following directions. But that kid got better within ten minutes of the lesson. Ashe would be told to kick and keep kicking while the instructor moved on to help another kid. Instead, Ashe would stop and would start singing loudly, and off key, and making general goofy sounds.

When he was told to swim to the stairs, instead, Ashe grabbed the teacher by the neck, terrified of letting go, and almost drowned his instructor.

When he was asked to jump in the water to be caught by the instructor, Ashe had a melt down, sobbing, and clinging to the pool rim as if his life was on the line.


Usually when we're in the water this kid has no fear.

So his five year old assessment that he will be swimming like a pro by next week seems a little premature. I get swim duty next time, and I'll be interested to see how he does.

Cuddlebugs

Something is in the air and it has affected my kids. I'd blame school for its rampant sharing of bugs, viruses, etc, but school was out when this situation started occurring. Maybe it was an airborne illness they caught at the park. Maybe it's some foreign, out of state cold they picked up on their trip to MA. Whatever it is, it's contagious, and all three of my children have been affected by it.

They caught what I call the Cuddlebugs.

My kids have never shied away from hugs or kisses when I ask them for one. But lately they have become aggressive in their cuddlings. Whereas before I would sit on the couch next to them and they would be happy with that, now they must climb all over me, trying to get as close as possible. I've caught myself saying repeatedly that They can't get any closer unless they crawled back inside my tummy. And they giggle, and then try to squeeze even closer.

I could get it if it were only Soren. But while he is the worst of the bunch, I even find myself trying to breathe as I'm smothered by Ashe. And while Xavier doesn't try to balance himself on my lap, I can't walk by without him yelling out that he loves me, or he crashes into me from behind for a sneak attack hug.


I almost want to ask them if they know something I don't. Am I dying? Am I sick? Did they have a vision which takes me away from them? What the hell is going on? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good cuddle, but I almost feel their eyes watching me as I try to sneak into the bathroom for a quick break for freedom. And the moment I return, my lap is smushed far down into the couch as the kids press down on me from all sides.

I surprised I was able to get this blog written down while the boys surround me. Forgive my typos, it's hard to double check my work when I type with only one finger while the rest of my body is muffled by little boys.

Back to School Recap

It's been three days since school has started. I'm still alive, but J may debate that point in the mornings after I've dragged my ass down the stairs each morning to herd the kids to the bus stop. I sound like a zombie stumbling towards my prey, which is usually the coffee pot.

I forgot to take into account that I would have to get up and be somewhat coherent earlier each day when I chose the bus instead of carpooling. It's only Wednesday and I've had fantasies of switching back. But we all know that the grass is always greener on the other side. Fucking chemlawn.

Monday was awesome. The kids were excited, everyone had their faces washed, teeth brushed, clean clothes,mans were bouncing to go to the bus stop. We waited for 25 minutes, trying to keep Soren out of the damn street, and Xavier from having a cardiac arrest that we missed the bus, before that big yellow vehicle decided to show up and save my sanity. I totally forgot about Xavier's anxiety with missing the bus. Sigh.

Soren and I waved the bus goodbye, and we went home so I could figure out what the hell I was going to do with one kid. Soren screeched that he wanted to go to the library and buy Angry Birds books, so that's what we did. Sans buying angry birds books though. We did walk out with 5 kid books, a debt free library card, and lessons for mom on how to borrow ebooks from the county library. J should be happy about that. At least he can bitch less about me putting the family into the poor house by purchasing a book a day.

Next we headed out to the swim school. I've been meaning to sign Ashe up for swim lessons, but it always seemed like such a hassle to get over there and ask the important questions I needed to while trying to wrangle in two hyper kids. And I was smart. It was so much easier to get that errand done with only Soren to contend with.

We had lunch together with no screams of protest or acting crazy. We cuddled up on the couch and read all the new library books twice, and then a few other books of our own, just for good measure. I exercised for an hour while Soren played Legos nearby. He picked them up and put them away after he was done without me having to ask. We watched a movie together. And then it was time to get the boys.

Xavier and Ashe had a fantastic first day of school. They were happy, and chattering, and cuddling up, and just bubbling with positive energy. I was a happy SRM.


Then Tuesday came. Ashe stayed home. And hell broke loose.

I don't know if it was because Ashe had finally had a taste of school and was bored at home. I don't know if it was because Soren realized how much smoother life went without having to fight for the toy of his choice. But where Monday was an awesome day, Tuesday just sucked. By 4pm I was desperate for alcohol, not even to get drunk, but to soothe my poor vocal chords from yelling at the kids every freaking five minutes to stop beating each other up.

And today is Wednesday. And I have warned the kids pure and simple that I will go postal today if we have another day like yesterday. And if they value their precious little hides,there will not be a repeat. Soren gravely nodded, Xavier nodded then asked if we could hurry to the bus stop 15 minutes early just in case we miss it, and Ashe zoned out, nodding his head, but I know he's really bopping to music in his mind, keeping time. Sigh.

I keep telling myself that come next Monday everything will be better. Ashe will start kindergarten full time, and everyone will be happy. Until then, wish my sanity luck!

Back To School Shopping

I just got back from back to school supply shopping. For the first time ever, I had to shop for not one, but two kids. And while it was a little stressful trying to keep the boys under my watchful eye while perusing two lists, and I cringed when I saw the total at the check out line, and it might not have been noticeable to the naked eye, I was doing the happy dance.

Starting this Monday, I will have only one kid at home.

Do you realize what this means??? The implications of this event?

I don't even know. I haven't had to take care of one child during the day in over five years. I can't remember that far back, the day to day stuff that makes life. But even back then, I was dealing with a little Xavier who was showing all the signs of ADHD but was not yet diagnosed. Soren is nowhere near as hyper as Xavier was.

So this is brand new territory for me as a mom. And frankly, I can't wait to check it out.

I have all of these fantasies on what my days will look like once I only have one child at home during the day. I fantasize about getting my ass out to the library once a week for story time. I tried doing that earlier with Ashe and Soren and it was a bust. Soren was too young then to enjoy it, and Ashe hated story time. Of course, maybe I should also find those year long overdue library books to bring with me before we get serious about it.

I fantasize about dropping the older boys off at the bus stop, then popping on my bike with Soren in a cute trailer, and biking all over town. Of course, I don't have a bike, or a trailer, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming.

I fantasize about being able to take Soren kayaking in the morning, since I can't do that with multiple children and no J during the week. I CAN do it with one child though!!!

I fantasize about going out for hikes in the woods, looking for animals, finding cool leaves to bring home for a craft, and not listen to the older boys whine about bugs or being bored.

And for the first time in years, I don't have to carpool. The bus will actually pick them up right near our doorstep.i don't have to drag two whiny kids into the car twice a day, and keep them entertained while we wait for school to get out. That's going to save me a total of 90 minutes a day!! Oh my god what will I do with all of that time???



All of this went through my head as I tried to find enough yellow folders, and blue notebooks, and everything else the teachers wanted for their classrooms. All of these thoughts, these brazen ideas flashed through my mind as I battled for binders with other moms gearing up for school. And while I passed a few moms with multiple kids in their cart, I wondered if they too, fantasizes like I did, for this day to come? Did they also look forward to the time when they only had one child to take care of during the day? Did they look at that time as a sense of freedom, or as a moment in life when they had to let go of their kids and wonder forlornly what they would do until their precious child came home? Am I the only one who has to physically stop herself from giggling out loud once in awhile when I realize the time is nigh? Am I the only one who sees this as something to celebrate and not mourn over?


Nah. There's no way I can be the only one. There's got to be others out there doing the happy dance too.

Nutella

I must buy this shirt for Ashe. Have you ever seen those shirts that say "I put ketchup on my ketchup"? That's Ashe when it comes to Nutella. If he had his way, he would live on nothing but Nutella sandwiches for the rest of his life.

Ever notice how kids get stuck on one food for a long time? They refuse anything else and pitch a battle at every meal time if their ultimate food is not placed before them? Each child I have had has gone through this, but Ashe takes it to an extreme. I've had to compromise with him in order to make sure he got enough calories and vitamins to grow up. Dinner is MY turf. he has to eat or at least have a few bites of whatever I place in front of him. I don't care if he sits there until bedtime, if he doesn't eat it, he's not moving. But in return, I'll make him his favorite lunch: Nutella sandwiches with chocolate Soy Milk.

Even I, a lover of all things chocolate, watch him day after day and think I couldn't deal with that much chocolate on a daily basis. But I know with certainty, if I place a chocolate sandwich before him, on wheat bread, he will scarf it down.

I'm ok with this. I tossed out that idea of perfectly nutritious and balanced meals long ago when Xavier did the same thing and I realized we could either have a stand off each day and watch my boy wither into a skeleton and he made his independence known, or I could pick a different battle and concede defeat at lunch time.

I read once that there was a boy who lived on NOTHING but PB&J sandwiches for over 14 years and he was perfectly healthy. I have sympathy for that mom, and nod my head to her in understanding. I feel good knowing at least I can get Ashe to eat other food sources at dinner time.

And I watch Soren, the next in line for food battles. Fortunately he is our best eater. his favorite food? Broccoli. I kid you not, he's been known to want it for breakfast. And if he hits this food stage where all he wants to eat is broccoli, I'll be smiling every lunch time. You can't make that stuff up.

Do your kids have food wars? how do you handle it?

You Know You're A Parent If....

• You keep extra underoos in your vehicles cup holder without batting an eye
•  You throw laundry in the washer and a pair of googly eyes fall in
•  You giggle when you hear the word European
•   You keep a stock of Boogies Wipes within hands reach and you DON’T giggle at the name
•  You think a Nutella sandwich, juice box, and a banana is a perfectly acceptable lunch    
• You are willing to fix a Burger King crown in the middle of the night, just to stop the crying so you can haul ass back to bed
•  Your car CD player has They Might Be Giants ABC on repeat and not Guns N Roses
•  You actually wonder if Toy Story 3 might be too scary
•  Your idea of heaven is to sleep the whole night through, in your own bed, and wake up naturally
•  Your bed has turned into a trampoline
• You put serious thought into creating a sign to wear that says “I AM NOT A FREAKING JUNGLE GYM”
•  Lego’s are your nemesis and it is your burning ambition to destroy each colorful block you come across
•  Instead of that new car smell, your vehicle smells like old milk, no matter how much you clean it
•  The thought of wiping shit off someone elses ass doesn’t make you start gagging
•  You start looking at duct tape in a new light
•  You have more plastic cups than glass cups. In fact, you may not even remember the last time you had a bowl that doesn’t have a suction cup on the bottom
•  You kick ass at candy land
• All board games you own, no matter how new, are missing at least 5 pieces
•  Your vacation destination is to meet a giant mouse instead of that beach on Tahiti
•  You know what Monster Spray is and how to use it    
• You think Mr. Clean and his magic erasers are the best invention since sliced bread.
•  You have stock in Johnson & Johnson company. Or you should considering how many products of theirs you use on a daily basis
•  Your BS detection skills have soared, and you can spot a BSer within twenty paces
• You hit scan on your car radio and claim to have magical powers , turning the stations without touching the dial
•  You’ve thought about putting googly eyes on the back of your head to scare little people into thinking you really DO have eyes there
• Silence is NOT a good sign!
•  You have stock in coffee and alcohol   
• You have had wine out of a sippy cup and thought nothing of it   
• Despite the fact you don’t own a single item of clothing without stains, you’re tired all the time, and your house will always look like a tornado went through no matter how often you try to keep it clean, you wouldn’t have it any other way

Add your own!