It's Been Seven Years, Ashe

It's always amazing to me when another year has gone by and I look at my boy standing there, so proud, so excited that he is a new age, and yet, I can remember in vivid detail the day he was born. For each parent and child I am sure that this is common. But Ashe... Ashe is special. He was born on December 12 at 12:11 pm.

12/12 12:11

 

 

Do you know how many times, my lovely Ashe, that I have been asked why I didn't hold you in for one more minute so that you were born  12/12 12:12pm? Do you know how many times I have had to hold back from smacking those idiots? Of course, they do not realize that by that time I had been holding you back for ten minutes while the doctor ran as fast as she could to make it from the opposite side of the hospital, after already trying to keep you at bay from being born in the car during a five minute car ride to the hospital. Or that she barely skidded into the room when I yelled "Catch!" and you were born. And of course, they don't realize that, let's be honest here, there really is no such thing as holding you back.

The fact that you were born on 12/12 at 12:11 and not 12:12 is just another reminder that you are the writer, performer, and conductor to your own epic soundtrack of your life. You are the hero of your story, unstoppable, undefeated! No one can take that away from you, nor should anyone try.

Seven years, my love. Seven years you have graced us with your vibrant soul. It seems that not nearly enough time has passed for you to be seven while also trying to remember what life was like before you entered the world like a comet in a blaze of glory, hell bent to make your entrance to this glorious world known far and wide. I can barely remember life without you. I don't want to know life without you.

You make life so much more! More of everything! More fun! More loud! More inspiring! More chaotic! More frustrating! More fulfilling! More worthwhile!!!

You, my child, will go far in life in whatever you do. You own this stage called life, and you know it. And while sometimes this knowledge you keep creates many situations where I want to pull out my hair in frustration as you make some sarcastic comment with that little smirk on your face, totally confident in yourself, that confidence you exude as a child will be a huge strength as you grow and reach maturity. It will lift you up when you stumble and push you to move forward when many people would just stop and stay down after their fall.

My advice to you child, as you grow... don't stay down when you stumble. Don't ever stay down. You were made, not to fall, but to fly. And you will fly high.


I watch you now, at seven years old. So confident. So funny. So amazingly smart. So stubborn. So full of life. Everyone you touch is forever changed for the better. You make everyone laugh. You make them smile. You make them think. You make them wonder in delight. Seven years old and you can do all that and more.

Ashe, you are amazing. Never change your ways for anyone. And please, never forget that you are SO loved, that I can't even begin to describe to you in a blog, or through our chats just how much you are loved and cherished by me, your father, your brothers, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends.....

You are SO loved. And my love, may I wish for you today the most happiest of birthdays, and an awe filled year ahead of you.

Happy birthday Ashe!

Battle of the Bedtime

It is after nine at night as I begin to write this. I am sitting here on my recliner with ears intently tuned to the upper floor, where my boys are *supposed* to be sleeping. But they seem to have other plans.


The townhouse we have lived in for the past three years has four bedrooms. One is on the bottom floor and is used as J's office since he works from home. The other three are on the third floor. Ashe and Soren share a room together. Most nights getting them to bed is simple. Soren goes up an hour earlier, and by the time Ashe heads to bed, his little brother is passed out to the world. But on nights where the bed time gets wonky, we sometimes deal with repercussions of two boys sharing a room.

Tonight is one of those nights.

This evening we had a meet the teacher event at Xavier's school. The whole family went, thinking it would be one of those events where you wait to say hello to the teachers then take off. We got there early with the mindset of getting home in time for bedtimes. Oops. Instead, it was a walk through of my oldest sons class schedule, and we sat down for presentations of each class. Half way through, the younger boys were bored out of their minds, so J took them out for ice cream while he waited for Xavier and I to finish.

We didn't get home until eight, way past Soren's regular bedtime, and close to Ashe's. I gave them a few minutes to unwind, then we did our bedtime routine. As I kissed them goodnight I admonished them to behave and go to sleep...no playing!

"Yes, Mommy", they replied.

I headed downstairs, grabbed my laptop and started catching up on email.

(giggle giggle *thump thump* giggle)
I roll my eyes and raise my voice to be heard on the third floor. "BOYS! GET TO BED!"

Silence.



(*thump thump* giggle giggle)
"BOYS!!!"

Silence.

(*thump thump CRASH* little whispers of "SHHHHHH Mommy will hear us!!")

Sadly, I eye my laptop with longing, put it down, and quietly, so as not to give them any warning, I tiptoe up the stairs and into their room. Soren is in Ashe's bed, and the moment he catches sight of my shadow he leaps up and sails across the room into his own. I swear that boy's feet never touched the ground he was moving so fast.

I glared at both kids, Ashe with his eyes shut so tight I thought he would burst a blood vessel, trying to make me believe that he is already asleep, and Soren, wide eyed, watching me warily the way a cat watches a strange dog.

"Boys, it is late. You have got to get to sleep. I'm serious. Stay in bed and no more playing. Am I clear?!"
"Yes Mommy" they say.
I look back and forth between the two of them for a moment, making sure that they understand that I am serious, and then I head back downstairs. I pick up my laptop and wait for the inevitable.

 

(giggle giggle *thump thump* giggle shhhh)

Rolling my eyes and sending silent scathing curses to the ceiling, I tiptoe up the stairs, this time with my laptop in hand, and enter the room. The moment I round the corner both boys fly out of the closet (which is their play fort), leap into the air, and land on their respective beds faster than an Olympic sprinter could even dream of achieving. Despite my annoyance, I was impressed, and began to wonder if I should begin training them for 2020.

We look at one another, boys wide eyed, waiting to see what I will do. I, trying to stare both of them down at the same time, which is only a feat a parental unit can accomplish. I win as the boys lower their heads in shame, either from the fact that they disobeyed, or from the fact that I caught them red handed. Most likely the latter.

"I am not kidding around tonight" I say in a low voice that makes them both lean forward to hear me and lean back into their pillows, knowing that the low voice is a voice to fear. "You two will lie down, and stay in your beds. I do not want to hear another word from you. Now get to sleep!" I glare as the boys scurry under their covers, and close their eyes tight. Sighing, I sit down on the floor by their door, open up my lap top, and prepare to play warden for awhile.

All was quiet as I surfed the web. Over time, the squeaks and shuffles of the twin beds settled, and I thought after a good twenty minutes, that they had finally fallen into a peaceful slumber. Being tired of a long day myself, I heaved a sigh of thanks to the ceiling again, and slowly, silently, made my way downstairs. I sat back into my recliner, closed my eyes, and reflected on the day.

(*thump thump thump* giggle giggle SHHHHHH *thump*)

 

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me!!!

Racing up the stairs I find Ashe and Soren jumping from one bed to the other, whispering and laughing as quietly as they possibly can. They didn't even hear my footsteps, this time I was not even bothering to be quiet, they were too intent on their fun.

As soon as they spot me I swear I heard a muttered "oh shit". Oh shit is right you little heathens. You want to play bed time battle? It is on!


"SOREN INTO BED NOW! ASHE, INTO MY BED NOW! If you can not get to sleep in the same room then I will separate you!"
"No Mommy, no! We'll behave, we promise!"
"You had your chance! Ashe, into my bed right this instant!"

Soren begins to sob as he realizes his partner in crime is now off to do time in another cell and he will be all alone. Ashe, taking on his role as martyr, stoically picks up his blankie, and slowly walks into my bedroom, head held high. It is the ultimate punishment for bedtime battles and he has realized that General Mom has won this particular round.

And yet.....

 

 

 

At this point in time I am exhausted, both physically and mentally. All I want to do is to have my kids in bed and asleep so that I can enjoy just a little bit of free time before I have to start it all over again. I make my way down the stairs, look around the living room, and glance lovingly at the recliner I have been rudely interrupted from for the past hour. I sink into its delicious comfort, snuggle into my spot, kick up the ottoman, and sigh.





And then I shit you not, the next thing I hear is (thump thump thump thump thump). Back and forth, back and forth, across the upstairs hall.


Despite my aggravation I am beyond curious as to who is idiotic enough to still try to escape my hearing, and risk the wrath of mom. And for what?! What could possibly be so damn important to risk it all?

Slowly, I creep up the stairs, keeping low to the ground. I take no chances of having my shadow show before I do. I tread lightly on the stairs, knowing the squeaky spots of each board, and gliding silently passed. The thumping continues, pitter pattering of little feet, racing to accomplish some goal before the end of the world as they know it. But what?

I turn the corner, slouched down like the Grinch on Christmas Eve and peer before me. The hallway is clear, and I am about to rise up when Soren dashes out of his room, racing pell mell for my darkened bedroom, arms filled to capacity with stuffed animals galore. He is bringing his banned brother contraband goods to keep him company at night.

I pop up just as he races by, to where he leaps three feet straight up into the air with a squeak! If his eyes could have gotten any bigger, I swear they would have fallen right out of his head. The moment his feet land back onto the ground he begins to wail, great heaving sobs of despair. Because he knows that he has lost.

Without breaking his song of sorrow, Soren slowly trudges back to bed on his own, gets under the covers, and turns his face to the wall.





It's now ten and I have not heard from them since. I think I won the war, but I doff my hat to Ashe and Soren. It was a hard won battle and they were very worthy opponents. And it took almost all of my parental will power to not laugh out loud at some of their outrageous antics this evening.

In The Groove

We have completed the first week of school and I am happy to announce that, despite my initial worries, the family as acclimated seamlessly into our new schedule.

My biggest concern was how the boys would react to their new staggering school schedules. However, aside from the tiny glitch that my afternoons are now shot for making plans, this has actually become a huge advantage for the boys. Most of the boys, anyways. Soren turns into a monster when he realizes that he no longer has my captivated attention.

Xavier now gets home around 2:30 in the afternoon, a good 90 minutes before Ashe. We're able to sit at the table and discuss how his day went, and I don't have to split my attention three ways so I can help him prepare for, or answers questions on his homework. Because of this, and the fact that it is quieter with two boys than three, he's been able to get his homework done in a reasonable time, with plenty of time after to relax.

Soren is the only wrench to this. He morphs into a jealous kid who all of a sudden decides he needs my undivided attention the moment his oldest brother comes home, despite the fact that he will happily ignore me for the majority of the day if I allowed it. He needs a glass of water. He needs me to help him get stickers. He needs me to color with him RIGHT NOW, even if he thought coloring was boring earlier in the day when I pulled out paper and crayons. I'm forever hopeful that this will dissipate in the next few weeks as he comes to recognize our new schedule. And if not, there is always that bottle of whiskey nearby I can discreetly sip from.

Ashe gets home by 4:15 and as of yet, he has n homework. This will change soon, but for now, we have time to chill at the table while he tells me about his day. I think that all of us appreciate the fact that each child gets complete individual attention from mom at the end of the day. I'm feeling more connected to the boys and feel like they are opening up more knowing that I am able to really listen for a time.

Both boys have made some new friends at school. Ashe brought home a phone number for his new BFF. Xavier is starting to make friends that he sits with during lunch. I think the only snafus we have encountered was when Xavier's gym locker went missing, and because he is still too shy to undress in front of the other boys (as I hear all of the boys are) he was late to class one day, waiting for his turn in the gym stall to change.

In regards to transportation, I did have to get Xavier's bus stop changed. His original bus stop was only a half mile from our house, but at his drop off, there is a known sex offender who lives there. he was the only kid at his stop, and I guess his bus drives by our house anyways, so I contacted the transportation service, and the next day he was dropped off on our street. Our transportation may suck sometimes when it comes to divvying up the kids and getting them home at a reasonable time, but I give them props for changing stops quickly when there is a good reason.

Other than that I really have nothing to report, although I wish I did. My boys have been so well behaved that they are giving me no fodder to blog about. It's kind of scary, actually. I wonder if I should be keeping an ear out for a shoe to drop. At least I know that with three boys in the household, it can't always stay this steady ha!

Back to School

Somehow I deleted my awesome post about the kids going back to school. So not enough coffee this morning, ugh!


Yesterday was the boys first day of school. My kids go to a year round school, so their calendar is very different from the majority of the country. We love it, and I wish that this option was available when I was a kid. But I digress.

While every first day of school is special in its own way, yesterday was even more so. Xavier was starting the dreaded middle school and Ashe was going to school without a brother to watch his back. Soren has one more year stuck with me.


One of the cool things about this years schedule is that the boys start  and finish school on different time schedules. This means that the boys each have their own time in the morning to get ready and also have their own time working on their homework without fighting for my attention. Xavier now starts school at 7:15 and gets home a little before three. Ashe still gets home around four. The only drawback now is that my afternoons are shot to hell for play dates for Soren.

Until now, on school days I had the wonderful opportunity to sleep in until 8am, where I would then roll out of bed, chug coffee, and drive the boys to school. J was sweet enough to offer to drive in Xavier at 7 while I took Ashe later, but I had to get up and take photos of the boys before their first day of school ( a parental units tradition):

I'm biased, but my boys have style!

#1 for first grade!

Having our first free day, Soren and I decided to go bug Grammy and hit a playground. We had lunch, painted together, and then I instituted a quiet time in the hopes of him passing out on the couch. I totally scored when after 20 minutes of him fighting valiantly against his drooping eyes, Soren passed out for an hour.

Xavier arrived home at three and despite my initial worry, said that he had the best day ever. He loves his teachers, thought it was cool to move from class to class, and even made a few new friends. We sat down together to go through all of the first day paperwork. He worked on two questionnaires while I filled out emergency forms. With having only one kid to focus on, I was fortunately able to reread his homework and catch a few things that I felt he needed to change or else be branded as a psychopath by his teachers. One question he answered was who was a literary character he would love to meet and why. he answered Altair from Assassins Creed because he was an assassin. The other was a science question, which asked him what he was looking forward to doing in science. He answered dissecting animals.  (insert eye rolling here....boys)

Ashe came home soon after, also glowing with happiness about school. He made two new friends, loves his teacher, and couldn't wait to go back.

So all in all, the first day of school rocked for everyone. Now I am just crossing my fingers that it continues.

Slainte!

Video Games Live Symphony

***WARNING: This post contains a lot of photos.***

We have a ritual in our family, that after the end of the school year, J & I offer the boys a congratulatory gift. It's our way of saying thanks for doing your best in school, you're done so let's party!!!



Usually we offer the kids a monetary value so that they can buy something that they've had their eyes on. This is big, because the *only* times we parental units buy the boys something is if it's their birthday, Xmas, they have done something amazing and we want to say thank you, or the end of school. The rest of the time they earn whatever they buy through their allowance.

This year however, as I was in the car listening to my AM news radio, an interview with the NC Symphony was on and I heard about an upcoming concert that I thought Xavier and Ashe would go CRAZY for. It was the first ever in Raleigh, Video Games Live symphony: a symphony of music straight out of video games.

My thought was that this would be the perfect way to introduce the symphony to the boys. What a wonderful cultural experience, catered to their very hobbies!

J & I offered the boys the option for their usual shopping outing, or this unique opportunity for their graduation gift. They did not disappoint me, and by a unanimous vote, we were going to the symphony.

One of the cool side events going on would be a costume contest of your favorite video game character. Ashe was all set. Since he has been wearing the same Link costume on an almost daily basis for two years, it was a no brainer.

Xavier decided that he also wanted to dress up... mere hours before the concert started. Of course it couldn't be simple either. Oh no! It had to be something elaborate. He decided that he wanted to be Altair, from Assassins Creed.

Altair from Assassins Creed

I had no clue where to start. I don't sew well, nor did I have a random white bed sheet lying around the house. Instead, I tossed every article of fabric we owned around my bedroom, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to make even a similar costume for Xavier. Then my eyes landed on a black pillowcase, and I remembered that I had two cloaks I used for Halloween last year that might work. Add in my leather bracers, my calf high boots, a pair of khakis, and a plastic dagger.... and we might have something.

I whipped out the pillowcase, grabbed my scissors, and got to work. 90 minutes and 25 safety pins later, and we were ready for the symphony!

Xavier (Altair) & Ashe (Link) ready to go to their first symphony

Now, I was asked by friends why I didn't join the boys and dress up too? I love dressing up and would have done so except for one factor. Xavier was wearing 2/3 of my go to costume. I think the only two things he didn't use of mine were my leather pants (which I wore that night) and  my corset (which would have looked awkward on my eleven year old son, and I wasn't going down that road!)

Posing with the boys

While I did not get the chance to dress up due to my motherly sacrifice, J actually did! Not that anyone would know it. But I promise you, J dressed up as his avatar....his Xbox avatar. To prove to everyone that J thoughtfully picked out his costume for the symphony, I did a side by side comparison of J's Xbox avatar and J himself outside the symphony:

pretty uncanny how accurate that is, huh?

We get to the concert hall an hour before it starts. Within moments of us pushing open the doors, Xavier and Ashe were bombarded by adults, both in costume and not, exclaiming over how cute they were, or how cool they looked. Both boys ate this up, Ashe swinging his sword around yelling "HYAH!" or playing his plastic ocarina. Xavier would pose, head tilted down, looking up under the shadow of his hood, then pulling out a plastic dagger from his bracer. And the crowd ate it up like crack.

I put the bys names down for the costume contest, something I thought would be a simple affair out in the lobby. But oh no. When the time came for the contest to start, the guy in charge started leading everyone and their parents through a long corridor, down a set of stairs, and finally into a stairwell, where the contestants were prepped to go on stage. Huh. Didn't see that coming.

While J & I stayed backstage, all contestants walked on stage to a thundering applause. I was able to sneak out and grab a few photos and a quick vid of Xavier and Ashe:

Ashe & Xavier onstage with another Link, Princess Peach, and TF2 sniper

I wish I had stayed out a little longer to get the crowds reaction when it came time to vote. The crowd voted by screaming. The MC would put his hand over a contestant, and gauge the crowds reaction. When it came time for Ashe and Xavier, the crowd flipped out. I mean, you would have thought that we were at a Bieber concert and the audience was filled with prepubescent girls. It. Was. Crazy!!!!! It became clear that the winner was between the two brothers. The MC had a hard time, going back and forth a few times trying to determine the winner:

MC: Little Link?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Link?

Crowd WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MC: Link? Altair?

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

By one decibel, Ashe won, as J says, on cuteness alone. Xavier was extremely gracious about the whole thing, and seemed to be just fine knowing that it was only his height that made him lose. And while Ashe had his photo taken and posted on all sorts of media sites last night, both he and Xavier were treated like rock stars for the rest of the evening. If they went to the bathroom, they had to stop and pose for photos, high fives, and hair ruffles.

Photo of Ashe taken by the NC Symphony after his win.

Finally, we sat down to listen to the symphony. And I have to say, that while the tickets were quite pricey for a family as large as ours, EVERY PENNY spent was WORTH IT! We have not had that much fun in a long time. It wasn't a normal concert, where everyone had to hush hush. We were told to clap, whistle, scream, cheer, holler, any time we felt like it. And we did. Or maybe I should say *I* did. I almost lost my voice for cheering so loud, and I'm pretty sure that if anyone asked, J would have claimed that he had no idea who the crazy woman sitting by him and his children were. Someone should lock her up already! I was screaming and cheering more than I do at the Red Sox game at Fenway (and coming from a native masshole, that's saying something).

Xavier and Ashe, like me, were completely enthralled. While they did not know some of the older games (like Contra, or Castlevania), they cheered when Zelda, Mario, Sonic, and others came on that they knew and loved.

For four hours, minus an intermission, we sat and listened to the amazing journey the symphony took us on. And at the very end, after the symphony had given us one encore and had taken it's final bow, the co-creator of Video Games Live, Tommy Tallarico, and Laura Intravea (flute Link for anyone who watches youtube) came onstage, and started a sing a long with the audience, to one of our families favorite gaming songs, Portals "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton (one of our favorite composers/singers. Look him up, you won't regret it): 

After the concert was over, we asked the boys what they thought of their experience. And the one word they kept repeating over and over was that the symphony was EPIC. And now they want to know.... when can we go again?

Mission accomplished!



Losing a Friend

Wednesday night. long after the boys went to bed, J and I were sitting on the couch watching tv when we heard the pitter patter of feet slowly trudging down the stairs. A sniffle followed, ending in a sad sigh. We looked up at the stairs to see Ashe walking down the stairs, tears in his eyes. When we asked him what was the matter, he tearily told us that today, his best friend C told him that they weren't friends anymore.

Since the beginning of kindergarten, Ashe and C have been tight. I mean soul mate tight. C was the only girl in class who was as much of a video game junkie as Ashe was. In fact, I have had several conversations with C's mom, alleviating her fears that C would grow up with no friends because she is such a tom boy. I made it crystal clear that a gamer girl was going to be one of the coolest kids as she grew up, because she would have a ton of guy friends who would become like her big brothers.

Ashe and C loved Zelda. Ashe and C loved Mario. Ashe and C loved lots of things that many other kids didn't. One day, when I took Ashe over to C's house for a play date, he brought his Link doll with him, because he wanted to show it to her. When C opened the door, she was holding the exact same doll in her hand.

When Ashe had his birthday party, he invited C and one other friend, E, from school. When C had her birthday party, Ashe was the only one from school that was invited. C's mom and I used to joke that they really were soul mates.

So when Ashe came downstairs on the verge of tears, my heart tore in two. This was a situation that I know is common as kids learn to navigate friendships. And it was bound to come up one day. But to have it be C, his bestest friend, and not some other child, was a very hard blow. We knew something must have been going on, because over the last two weeks, when we asked Ashe what he did during recess, he would say that he played alone. When asked why, he said that C and the other kids were pretending to play "Skylander" and he wasn't interested in joining. J even contemplated buying the game, just so that Ashe could play it and join in, but Ashe was adamant that Skylander was not something he was interested in.

The story comes out that C was insistent that she wanted to play Skylander every recess and Ashe was insistent that he didn't want to join. So they each would go their separate ways. And this day, C decided that since their "hobbies" diverged away from one another, they were no longer friends. And Ashe kept silent about it all day, until he lay in bed at night, and reality came crashing down on him.

The day your child comes home and tells you he lost his good friend is going to break your heart. I like C's mom a lot, and still I felt the maternal urge to call her up at 10 pm and cry out "Your child broke my child's heart over a flipping video game!!!" It's a natural mother bear instinct to shelter your children from the harsh lessons that life has to offer, even to the six year olds, even when you know logically that the other parents have nothing to do with what transpires.

So instead, J and I sat down and brought him up to cuddle with us on the couch late at night. And we told him that we hurt with him, as we knew how good of friends the two of them had been. But then we started asking about his other friends. What about E? Or W? Tell us about them. So he did.

He told us how that very day, E had made him a paper laptop as a gift. Ashe even got a yellow bucket (le sigh) because she whispered to him during silent time what he wanted on it, and he whispered back. And how W sent him his phone number, and the two of them were excited to get together for a play date over summer vacation.

Within ten minutes, Ashe went from feeling really hurt, to realizing that he has some great friends still. And sure, they may like different things, but that doesn't mean that they can't be friends. And Ashe started to cherish what he did have, friends who liked him for who he was, not what he played.



I know over the years to come we will have similar conversations, both with Ashe and the other boys. It's a rite of passage for kids to go through it again and again. And it sucks, every time. But in the long run, I hope, that they realize that some friendships will come and go, but the true friendships will last over time, no matter what.

Parental Crafting Emergency

As most of you know, Ashe is obsessed with the Legend Of Zelda. Halloween is fast approaching, and he has delighted me in choosing once again to be Link for that fabulous holiday. Well I was pleased, until Ashe accidentally left his Link hat at the hospital. Then I panicked.

It took me ages of searching for a Link outfit last year. It's not like they have them in the stores, and most of the ones I found on eBay were made for cosplaying adults that cost hundreds of dollars.  So to lose a vital piece of his outfit is a huge huge deal.

We all know I suck at crafts, but lately I have been on a Pintrest binge, ever since J mentioned that we might, just might, be able to look at purchasing a real honest to goodness home next year instead of renting. I nearly fainted with joy at that proclamation. And while I look for things I want to implement in our new future fantasy home, I also started looking at DIY crafts.  I even went out and purchased a bunch of craft things to make some crafts. So I may suck at them, but I am enjoying this new, domestic aspect I'm linking into.

So when Ashe lost his hat, instead of frantically searching yet again on eBay for one that would fit him, I decided to try to make him one myself. Even though I don't own a sewing machine. Even though the last lesson I had in sewing was in first grade. Even though I still have clear memories of trying to make the kids stuffed animals by hand.

Call me optimistic. Delusional fits too.


With Ashes costume in hand, we headed to the local fabric store in search of the perfect green material. We were fortunate to find a near identical match that didn't break the bank. At home, I measured Ashes head with tape. I know some of you crafty parental units are sucking in their breath right now thinking "oh no she didn't!" Oh yes, I did. Phbhbhbhbhbhbhbt.


I free handed the pattern (OH YES I DID!!!) with a sharpie and cut out the two pieces. And with thread and needle, I got down to business.  I stitched that thing to the best of my six year old knowledge and it took a total of three hours. And you know what? It looked awesome!

My leet hand sewing skills

It was tight stitched with no gaps, and looked just like his old hat. I was so impressed while also realizing that if I knew how to use a sewing machine it would have taken me five minutes instead of three hours that I am contemplating the purchase of one. Not that I know how to use one. But I could maybe learn?

Ashe and his Asthma

This was a pretty sucky weekend to say the least. We are all still reeling from the effects.

Ashe was diagnosed with juvenile asthmatic when he was two, after a few emergency landings in the ER. However, the past couple of years, he has not had any severe attacks, and not any attacks for the past year. We were all hoping that Ashe had finally outgrown it.

Unfortunately that didn't turn out to be the case.

Two weeks ago we had a cold run through our family. Nothing major but it kept the boys home from school for a day. When Ashe caught the cold he developed a wicked cough, which we realized was his asthma acting up. His teacher asked if we could get him an inhaler for school just in case. I agreed, and planned on calling the doctor, but then life happened, the kids tracked out of school, and I forgot.

Last week another cold ran through our family. It was a 48 hour cold that wasn't anything to write home about. But Ashe started coughing again, which reminded me to call the doctor about getting an extra inhaler. Since it had been so long since he had needed any asthma medication, they asked us to come in so they could check him out and update the medicine.

We walked in expecting to be there for fifteen minutes. Instead, they checked his level of oxygen and he was below 90%. Under law, they cant release him unless his oxygen is at 96 or above. It took him two treatments before he got there and they sent us home.

His medicine is albuterol, and we can only use it every four hours. However, after the doctor visit, he couldn't get through three, than two hours, before his cough returned. By midnight his asthma medicine wasn't working at all and Ashe couldn't breathe. Realizing we were facing more than a regular asthma attack, we made the decision to rush Ashe to the ER. Since we have one working car, J took him while I stayed home with the other two sleeping boys. I helped pack Ashe into the car, handing him his blankie and Link hat, gave him a hug, and watched them drive away.

Of course we were NOT expecting an ER visit in the middle of the night, so Js cell phone was not charged. He told me he'd call with updates but otherwise he would keep his phone off. So not only was I stuck at home, but I had to rely on my husbands ability to call me at regular intervals. Which of course, did not happen. I got one phone call at two in the morning to let me know they were transferring Ashe from ER to the Big hospital in downtown Raleigh. I got another call at 7am to let me know that he was doing much better and they hoped to be home by lunch time. When lunch time came and went with no call or no family members returning home I started to panic. What if there was a relapse? What if a team of doctors were frantically hovering over him unable to make him better? Why won't anyone call me? Even the boys at home were getting worried, asking if I had talked to Dad, and when would their brother return home?

Finally at 3pm J realized that there was a phone in the room (after 12 hours of hanging out in said room) and called to let me know that they were on their way home. Neither of us were happy, me from being worried sick thinking of all worst case scenarios and he from only catching two hours of sleep.

But finally the boy and his father returned home to much rejoicing. The boys made Ashe a card, we walked down to the local gas station to grab him a treat, and huhs were passed all around.

So what does this mean for us? It means that Ashe is now on preventive asthma medicine twice a day until the summer. It means that we have been ordered to medicate the poor kid like crazy with asthma medicine the MOMENT he has a sniffle. It means that we have been told to wash his face and arms every day after school to try and keep viruses from infecting his nostrils when he inadvertently picks his nose.

We're used to daily meds for Xavier so it wont be much of a difference. But holy hell, our insurance deductible had better be paid for because I have no clue how we're going to pay for an ER trip, a $400 trip in an ambulance, plus a days stay at Big Wake.

Swimming Lessons

I finally got Ashe scheduled for swimming lessons and he had his first one this past Tuesday. I've been meaning to do this for forever, but with three kids to reign in, the time always seemed to slip away. If you remember, the first day of school for Xavier and Ashe, I took advantage of having only one kid around to take care of this errand.

Lessons are each Tuesday and Thursday evening for 39 minutes. J and I decided to alternate taking him. J had the first shift.

When the pair came home, Ashe was extremely excited about how much fun his lesson was. He told me all about how he out his face in the water and wasn't scared. And how he will be a super duper swimmer by next week. I looked to J for a more unbiased account. It was nowhere near as enthusiastic as Ashes.

Out of five kids, only one kid was worse than Ashe in following directions. But that kid got better within ten minutes of the lesson. Ashe would be told to kick and keep kicking while the instructor moved on to help another kid. Instead, Ashe would stop and would start singing loudly, and off key, and making general goofy sounds.

When he was told to swim to the stairs, instead, Ashe grabbed the teacher by the neck, terrified of letting go, and almost drowned his instructor.

When he was asked to jump in the water to be caught by the instructor, Ashe had a melt down, sobbing, and clinging to the pool rim as if his life was on the line.


Usually when we're in the water this kid has no fear.

So his five year old assessment that he will be swimming like a pro by next week seems a little premature. I get swim duty next time, and I'll be interested to see how he does.

Asheitude

Where the hell did my sweet Ashe go? If I didn't know any better, I would think my sweet middle child was kidnapped by fairies and I'm dealing with a changeling with an attitude that would fit nicely with an asshole.

Ever since he turned five, Ashe has got this 'tude that is driving me nuts. He HAD manners! Now it's like he purposely shoved them under his bed to gather dust. And I'm about to start gathering pamphlets for boarding schools to send him off to.

Lately, instead of asking for something, Ashe will saunter, yes, saunter, up to me and tell me to get him something. When I give him "The Look" and ask him how does he ask, he looks me in the eye and says "Now".

Every night during dinner, Ashe asks J for help on a video game afterward. It's their bonding time. Lately though, instead of asking, Ashe will turn to J and say "Dad, after dinner you WILL help me with (insert game here)."


His ass has been in time out so much lately the carpet on the landing is starting to get butt grooves.


And if he's not trying to throw his 35 pound weight around like he's the king of the house, he's turned into a drama queen that would put any A celebrity to utter shame. This kid could win an Oscar for best dramatic performance. I guess I should be thankful I don't have to pay cash to watch such amazing performances, but you know what? I never liked dramas anyways.

Despite the fact I give the kids ample warning for bedtime (hey kids 15 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute...) the moment I say "OK bedtime" Ashe turns on the waterworks and cries while throwing himself ON THE FLOOR, wailing about the indignities I force upon him.

After a long day of child rearing, all I want to do is give the tiny golf clap for his acting skills and tell him to give it up. Instead, I'm finding myself picking the boy up, and carrying his butt upstairs, while he wails on and on about how awful of a mom I am, and how he doesn't WANT to go to bed, and that I am SO MEAN, MOMMY!!!!!!!"

You know what kid? You don't know what mean is. Mean is if I tossed your ass into bed, duct taped you to your mattress, and locked you in your room. Mean is if I didn't read you your damn Zelda book, refused to get you a cup of water, and forced you to sleep without a nightlight. Don't push me kid, cause I'm getting really close to showing you what mean is.

Age two is tough. That's when they start getting their independence. Three is hard because they have more words in which to argue their independence. Four plateaus. But five? Oh my god. Five just sucks. I seriously cannot wait until school starts for him. I am going to ask someone to video tape me doing the happy dance as I pass his attitude behind on to someone else for a few hours.

Patchy Ashe

Two months ago, we returned to Ashe's eye doctor, to see how his eye sight was progressing with glasses. Originally, he had 20/150 eyesight. His glasses are at 20/80. Testing two months later, Ashe is seeing at 20/50 which is awesome. The doctor thins we caught this issue early and decided to get a little more aggressive to see if we could get his eyesight even better. So along with glasses, Ashe has now been wearing an eye patch over his good eye. he has to wear it for two hours a day, and he has to do something close up, like video games or color. It was an easy sell for the boy. How many kids are told they HAVE to play their DS for two hours a day, doctors orders????

The only catch is that the eye patches look funky. I goggled all over looking for cool looking eye patches to no avail. I was hoping for something piratey. I mean, if you're going to wear an eye patch at least have fun with it, right? But no, the only ones around look like giant bandaids. Ashe is ok with them, but I have been warring with myself for months about coloring them all in with a black sharpie, making the Jolly Roger on each patch.

We could make some serious money, people! We should start making pirate patch eye patches! This is a gold mine we're sitting on!

You Try To Teach Them

You know when you're a new parent, and you just can't wait to start teaching your precious child all of the cool things out there in the world? YOU are going to be that AWESOME parent, who jumps into all sorts of cool subjects. Your little one will know and cherish Mozart by three, want to paint like Van Gogh by four, admire Einstein, and of course, start doing their own little scientific experiements that make you think Nobel Prize before kindergarten.

 About that.....

It's a great dream. Really, it is. I had those same dreams the moment I found out I was pregnant with each child. I should have known by child three it wasn't going to happen but I could still hope that with *this one* I might have a chance.

Xavier loves Marine Biology. But that's not because I sat down with him and we watched Jaques Cousto when he was an infant. No, it's because he is totally committed to being the first person to prove that Krakens (not stupid giant squids, Mom) are real.

Ashe adores Van Gogh and Mozart, but not because I played classical music to my tummy when he was in utero, or painted his nursery with the Starry Night. Nope, he was addicted to (ok ok he is STILL addicted to) those Baby Einstein videos. In fact, it took him hard when he found out that Bard the dragon did NOT paint the sunflower painting.

Maybe I still have a slight hope for Soren, but I realize it's a pipe dream.

However that doesn't mean I don't TRY! J and I try all the time to teach our kids about really cool things. The boys know more about mythology and celtic history than most kids. They know more about astronomy, chemistry, and geology. Whenever they have a question we love to dig in and find out the answers.

Which brings me to my blog subject:

 The other night after dinner out, the night sky was dark and clear. We saw the waxing moon, which looked like a smile and the boys oohed and ahhed. During our drive home the boys peppered us with questions about the moon, stars, planets. We took the time to teach how the moon is important as it is responsible for our tides and other things.

So we pull into our driveway and Ashe asks about the stars. J is trying to teach him the difference between a star and a plane in the night sky. He points to a bright spot and says "Thats a plane." I watch the orb he's pointing at and realize that its not moving at all.
 "Hon, I dont think that's a plane."
"Of course it is. It's too big and bright to be a star." I admit is *is* a lot brighter than the surrounding stars. But still it's not moving. And after a minute passes a plane does who up nearby. All three of us gaze up and I point to Ashe the plane.
"You know" I say " I think that might be a planet."
"Oooh Mommy, a planet?"
"It could be. Daddy's right that its too bright to be a star. But see how it's not moving like the plane there?"
"Yeah."
"So, sometimes we can see the planets that are close by. So that could be one of them."
"Mom, which one do you think it is?"
"Well, I would guess that it's either Mars or Venus as those two are the closest planets."
"Mom?"
"Yes Ashe?"
"Venis sounds like Penis." He giggles and runs off to tell his brothers this amazing rhyme and I just hang my head and sigh.

Bedtime Theatrics

Kids are smart. And very, very diabolical. They know how to straddle the boundaries of parenting rules, push those buttons, and they laugh while doing it.

Take bedtime the other night:

J & I alternate bedtimes. This particular day was a HORRIBLE day for the kids and by the time dinner was finished I knew that I needed a break. Fortunately it was J's turn to put them to bed, so I grabbed my earplugs, plopped on the couch and ignored the fam while catching up on the Daily Show via Hulu. I barely noticed the boys heading up for night, I was so desperate for non child time. I did give them each kisses goodnight, but then turned right back to Jon Stewart.

After bedtime routines were complete, J wandered downstairs to his computer. I kept my ear plugs in.An hour later, caught up, I removed my earplugs to hear elephants dancing upstairs. The boys were NOT sleeping. Instead, it sounded like they were having a pagan festival shouting and dancing, along with numerous THUMPS that I would pay a good amount of money to bet that they were launching themselves off the bed. I'm sure they made a game of who could jump furthest.

Normally, if a parent puts the boys to bed the unspoken rule is that parent is also responsible for going upstairs and telling them to knock it off. But J hadn't shown himself since bedtime. I am guessing he also needed to escape and threw his own headphones on.

I tried to ignore it as long as I could. But by 9:30 with no fatherly intervention, I decided to deal with them. I sidled off the couch and started creeping up the stairs, trying to catch them unawares. But despite my stealth, I stepped on the third step, notorious for creaking. And while I would have thought the rumpus upstairs was loud enough to cover that tine squeak, the boys sometimes amazing hearing abilities (you know, the abilities they get when they know they're doing something wrong, but are deaf any other time of day?) kicked in. The next thing I hear is two year old Soren going "SHHHHHH! Ashe SHHHHHHHH!" a flurry of feet running, and then silence.

I open their door not a moment later. The light is on, the room is trashed, there are pull ups EVERY WHERE. And there are two little boys, "sleeping" peacefully, tucked in their matching covers, eyes closed. Soren is even trying to snore.

I smell bullshit. But... it was funny as hell. Trying as hard as I could not to burst out laughing, I said "You aren't fooling anyone boys. Go to sleep!".  They resisted acknowledging me as they continued their theatrics of sleeping angels and I closed the door.

I told J they needed more acting lessons if they wanted to pull that stunt off, but I have to admit, for amateurs in the theater business, they stayed in character.

Nutella

I must buy this shirt for Ashe. Have you ever seen those shirts that say "I put ketchup on my ketchup"? That's Ashe when it comes to Nutella. If he had his way, he would live on nothing but Nutella sandwiches for the rest of his life.

Ever notice how kids get stuck on one food for a long time? They refuse anything else and pitch a battle at every meal time if their ultimate food is not placed before them? Each child I have had has gone through this, but Ashe takes it to an extreme. I've had to compromise with him in order to make sure he got enough calories and vitamins to grow up. Dinner is MY turf. he has to eat or at least have a few bites of whatever I place in front of him. I don't care if he sits there until bedtime, if he doesn't eat it, he's not moving. But in return, I'll make him his favorite lunch: Nutella sandwiches with chocolate Soy Milk.

Even I, a lover of all things chocolate, watch him day after day and think I couldn't deal with that much chocolate on a daily basis. But I know with certainty, if I place a chocolate sandwich before him, on wheat bread, he will scarf it down.

I'm ok with this. I tossed out that idea of perfectly nutritious and balanced meals long ago when Xavier did the same thing and I realized we could either have a stand off each day and watch my boy wither into a skeleton and he made his independence known, or I could pick a different battle and concede defeat at lunch time.

I read once that there was a boy who lived on NOTHING but PB&J sandwiches for over 14 years and he was perfectly healthy. I have sympathy for that mom, and nod my head to her in understanding. I feel good knowing at least I can get Ashe to eat other food sources at dinner time.

And I watch Soren, the next in line for food battles. Fortunately he is our best eater. his favorite food? Broccoli. I kid you not, he's been known to want it for breakfast. And if he hits this food stage where all he wants to eat is broccoli, I'll be smiling every lunch time. You can't make that stuff up.

Do your kids have food wars? how do you handle it?

Cheryl's Photo of Ashe

I just wanted to do a quick shout out to a friend and fellow blogger. Cheryl of Cheryl Navalinsky Photography snagged some beautiful photos during a park play date last week. She posted a georgous photo of Ashe with his Baby Einstein puppet, Shakespeare. You can find it here. He's the third photo down (and the only one with a green dragon kissing him).

Thanks Cheryl! *kiss kiss*

Glasses Revealed

I promised an update once we got Ashe his new glasses, so here it is. Ashe has now had his glasses for a week and he is in loooooooooove with them. I posted a photo on FB while we were at the Eye Doctor, picking them up. To all of you who left a comment, THANK YOU! he got the biggest kick out of all of your praise, and I don't doubt that it helped cement his love for his new look.
So without further ado, here is Master Ashe with his new Sponge Bob Squarepants glasses:

We did have to go get them adjusted a little bit this past Monday. Unfortunately they kept sliding down his nose. But within ten minutes they were able to adjust them accordingly and they fit him perfectly. So far this week, there have been no Asheidents to report.