Sorens Birthday Present.

When our first son had his first birthday I remember going all out on presents. When my second boy turned 1, we did a lot less for him, as he had his brothers toys to play with, but still we got him some cool expensive stuff to call his own.

When Soren turned 1, I did something totally different. 

One thing I have learned after having three kids is that no matter how many cool toys you buy them, what they really want is your stuff. Specifically:

• Your wallet
• your cell phone
• your car keys

I have battled with every child to retain my stuff as my own and not their chew toy. I have tried buying each child their own toy keys, their own toy phone. And while the interest is there initially, their excitement wanes fast. And they go back to attempt to steal my stuff.

Over the past few months both J and I have waged war on Soren as he tries to take our wallets and hide our credit cards. I keep mine in my purse high up, but anytime I pull out my wallet at a store the battle begins as he tries valiantly to swipe my wallet. I'm sure it's quite the amusing scene to the cashier and people waiting, as he and I lock hands over my wallet and play tug-a-war.

My keys are another topic. Once in awhile I will hand them over to keep him quiet when we're out. And he chews on the lock pad. I have been waiting for the day when his slobber short circuits my lock and I cant get into my van. 

And my cell phone. I recently got a Droid and I'm sorry but I will fight to the death before I let him have it. However he's sneaky. I'll be sitting on the floor catching up on email when he comes in from behind, trying to snatch it out of my hands.

So instead of buying him a toy, seeing as we have enough toys for 30 kids already and he loves his older brothers toys more than his own, J and I made him a set of "real" things he adores.

J found him a mini bag, the same color and fabric as my purse/bag (olive green so it's not feminine). And J found him a real wallet. I filled the wallet with plastic cards and expired passes to the zoo and museums.

I found a bunch of keys to nowhere and a lock pad keychain to a car we no longer own. I found a couple more cool keychains and strung them together.

And then I dug up my old cell phone.

His birthday present cost a total of $15. But his happiness since he realized what was in it, and the fact we werent upset with him tossing plastic cards around or chewing on a real cell phone has been priceless.

I wish I thought of this earlier.

Pacifier Thief

We have a pacifier thief in the house. I know it's not my family members, so I'm trying to decide if it's some sort of supernatural being like the sock monster in our dryer. And don't tell me the sock monster isn't real. I know it is. How else can you explain the insane amount of lost socks every time I do laundry???? It never fails. One day I'll test my theory by placing 10 socks in the dryer, walking away while keeping close tabs on my family members. And when I come back and there are 7 socks in the dryer, I will have proved my theory and win the Nobel Award for proving the existence of the sock monster.


When I find some free time, of course.


But the pacifier thief. It's pissing me off to no end. One day I can have 10 pacifiers right in sight. And the next day, gone. All gone. And when your youngest sleeps very peacefully so long as he has a pacifier nearby, you will do anything to ensure you have one on hand.

Pacifiers aren't cheap either! Holy cow man, these things cost $4 a pop! That's $40 worth of baby bliss right there, gone missing!

When I find this thief, this supernatural being, I'm going to grab it by its neck and throw it in the dryer and turn it on to high heat. Hopefully the sock monster enjoys the taste of pacifier thiefs as much as it enjoys noshing on socks.



Unless the two team up....

Firsts & Lasts

To my darling not-so-much-a-baby-anymore,

I can not believe you are no longer a "baby". It rocks my world you've now graced this planet for a full turn around the sun. How much you have grown, how much has changed, as I sit there, watching you throw hamburger bits on to the floor and laughing, look at me with pure mischievous delight.

I think back to how tiny you were, each perfect detail carved out of rosy down skin, as I scrub your hands for the fourth time this day, after catching you playing in the toilet your older brothers forgot to flush, in the bathroom where your older brothers forgot to shut the door... again.

I think of those tiny outfits you wore when you first arrived, how preciously small they were, and how they make great rags now to wipe your face from the peas and carrots you mashed into your nostrils and ears instead of your mouth.

I think back to our first few months together and while I really miss how you used to curl up on top of me like a kitten and sleep the day away, I thank BOB you have now learned the difference between day and night, and actually sleep pretty damn well.

THANK YOU!

I watch you as the months go by and note your progress to keep up with your brothers: how first you watched them as they played. Then started rolling and squirming for that ball they held *just out of reach*. How you learned to army crawl towards any mini lego accidentally left on the floor with ferocious intent. How you sat up, and learned to throw a ball, then to throw a ball at your brother. Next we will work on teaching you how to throw to your brothers, not at their heads. And how now, you can crawl faster than your brothers can walk, and you can finally beat them many times to the toys they are heading towards, and piss them off as you chew on it with delight. Soon, you'll be walking, and I can only imagine the new adventures you will be on, and I have a good idea that I will be granted quite a few new gray hairs in the upcoming months.

You've done a lot of growing, a lot of changing, and you still have quite a ways to go, dear Soren. But I'll be watching every minute of it, and while it's bittersweet to watch my youngest, my last take those final toddling steps out of babydom and into toddlerhood, I hope you know your Mommy is *VERY* proud of you.

I love you Love bug. Happy First Birthday.