Laundry Lament

I hate doing laundry. Loathe it. Detest it. (Insert any verb in here that best represents your most passionate negative feeling here) it.

I never used to feel this way. I've never been an avid fanboi of any type of chore ever, but BC laundry would only get a "meh" out of me. But now I launder for a family of 5..... and I have a toddler to boot. And that makes all the difference in the world, changing a mundane chore into an agonizing endeavor each and every time I must participate in this task.


When dealing with a family of 5, you are dealing with the average of 7 sets of clothing (toddlers get extra sets because they are notoriously messy eaters and throw their socks in the trash can when you are not looking) a day. That equals out to

• 49 shirts
• 49 pants
• 98 socks
• 31 pairs of underwear (I add in extra because Ashe still has accidents)
• 15 bibs ( I don't even know why I bother since they only catch 1/5 of the food and the other 4/5 end up on shirts, pants, and floor)

a week. A WEEK! And that's not even including any towels or bedding, and sometimes bedding needs to be done mid week.

And if you're stupid enough (like me sometimes) to hold off on doing laundry once a week, it becomes a chore that makes any parent tremble in fear. Washing and drying the laundry itself is not that big of a deal.. You dump the clothes in the washer, throw in some detergent, come back in 30 minutes, toss it into the dryer, throw the next load into the washer. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's the sorting part that sucks. Because sorting clothes for a family of 5, many of said items of clothing hand me downs from one brother to the next, takes a long time. And it takes even longer when your kids think the mountain of laundry is the same as a pile of raked leaves, and they are free to jump in, hide under, and throw the clothes all over the living room as you desperately try to sort them into separate piles. Or, if you have a toddler, they think it's an absolute riot to take one of the piles you have created and toss it all back into the main pile.          

I spent 4, yes 4, hours the other day trying to get my laundry sorted and put away. 4 hours of sitting there, looking at tags for sizes, trying to determine who would best fit the Spiderman shirt or underoos, while Soren and Ashe had a field day. They laughed openly when I growled at them to stop trying to ring toss underwear on my head. The moment I placed clothes in one pile and turned away, Soren was right there grabbing it and trying to surreptitiously place it on another pile, giggling the whole time.  As I placed all socks in one pile to be sorted later, sock missiles would come flying over my shoulder into the main pile. When I tried to distract them with other fun things it was useless. No, laundry sorting is a child's fantasy come true. It's even better than a trip to Chuck E Cheese.


But it's a parents hell. I was dreaming of a bottle of Merlot all to myself and it wasn't even 11 AM yet.


I don't even bother folding. I used to try but I gave it up as a hopeless cause many months ago after refolding the same pair of jeans only to have them bounce off my head as one child would grab it and try to play catch with me. Besides, when the boys (J included) pick clothes out of their drawers, they pull out everything and place it on the floor until they find the clothing they want. J at least puts his clothes back.

So give me a vacuum. Give me a mop. I'll scrub a toilet with minimal complaint. But nothing makes me cringe in fear more than laundry for 5.

Except doing dishes      

In His Own Time

At Sorens 15 month check up he had a total of 3 words: Bob (yes, my youngest's first word was for a tv cartoon character),book, and bear. I was told by 18 months he should have a total of 6 words, not including mama, dada, or uh oh.

Wellwe're at his 18 month point and we got mama and DA down pat. That's it.  However, having a child with a true speech delay (Ashe) I feel I can safely say this is not for lack of ability. Soren probably COULD say more if he wanted to: key phrase here is "wanted to".  But I'm getting a clear impression that he has no use for words. He can communicate just fine thankyouverymuch without those silly combinations of vowels and consanants.

Yes, the boys know not to talk for him. Yes, I tell him the name of each object he points to and grunts at. Yes, I read to him. The kids not stupid. And my reasoning for thinking its a lack of wanting to talk versus being unable to is this:

1. He can use the few words he says in the appropriate context... when he wants to. If J walks upstairs for a coffee break Soren immediately grins and yells "DAAAAA", racing over to him for a hug. Or, if he wants Bob on the tv he will grab the remote, bring it to me, run to the tv, point and state "BOB!".

2. But try to get him to say something you know he can say on command and he gives you a smile and clams up. If I ask him to say mama, he growls at me like a dinosaur and laughs.Or just looks at you like you're an idiot to think he's like a dog who will do tricks on command.

3. When he wants to say something he will do it on his own time. And Sorens time is his own thing. If J asks him who made the mess of candy canes on the floor, he'll answer "mama" then laugh his little head off.


Brat.

The kid can communicate sans words though, better than anyone I have seen. He doesn't need words per se to get his point across. Trust me when I say that he will let you know when he is hungry/thirsty/tired/needs a diaper change. It's crystal clear to anyone around the vicinity.

We had his check up the other day and he is healthy and happy and right on par. The DR said not to get any gray hairs about his lack of speech. After passing on my observations she's in agreement with me that the kids no dummy. and really, do I want him to start talking right now anyways, knowing that once they start they don't stop?

She's got a good point, I think, as I listen to the 2 older boys chattering nonstop about literally nothing....nonstop......

A Change of Ways

The other day I went into a store to grab the red hair dye I use for my red streak and noticed a new color that caught my attention: teal. I decided it was time for a change.

I've had crazy hair for eons. It's one of the few ways to show the world Im not your every day mom. I have to have some sort of way to get my creativity out and what better way than to play with your hair? You can change it whenever you please (or I could when I worked as a stylist for 10+ years before I "retired" to become a full time mom).
 Over the years I've had purple highlights,  red highlights, red and black hair of various styles and hues. I've had the black hair with a red stripe now for over 3 years with little to no change. It suited me very well. But I've always wanted to try some sort of blueish teal color.  Despite the fact I would probably get more stares than usual going blue, it would be something new and fun. And if I didnt like it, well I could change it back. But really, change was long overdue.

So I grabbed the color and bleach, and after 3 bleach runs (kids, don't try this at home.... you could fry your hair off if you don't know what you're doing... literally.... go to a professional salon please!!!) and a douse of teal, I achieved a new do:

I like it!  A lot, actually. It reminds me of an avatar I've been using for years on one of my favorite gaming forums. Although Im missing the knee high boots and thigh high striped socks that go with the hair... but I dont think I could get away with THAT outfit in public. But the teal works and I love it!

I did notice a side effect I forgot about when changing your hair in a crazy way, even when you have self confidence. I realized I was subconsciously gauging other peoples reactions to my new hair color when I went out with the kids in public. I kept waiting for strangers to make a rude facial expression or even have the cojones enough to make a comment under their breath but loud enough for me to hear. I caught myself doing this in a local food store as I perused the aisles looking for yummy holiday food to bring to my moms house for a family celebration. I kept waiting for the comments or looks of disdain I used to get as a new mom with an infant Xavier snug in his carrier when people thought I was an unwed teen mom ( I looked very young for my age when he was born). Fortunately it seemed that either people have gotten more tolerant with crazy hair color, or I looked like what I am: a suburban rebel mom you don't want to start spouting judgmental comments at in front of her kiddos. Either way I was pleased with the lack of reaction =)

So what do you folks think?