...my child sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Downhill to Domesticity

I have been struggling with an aspect of myself that I'm not sure I'm ready to face. I mean, I know I am, but that doesn't mean I have to admit it. Do I?  When I think of myself, I use the terms Sarcastic, Coffee Lover, Gamer Chick, and Mom. But a recent event struck me full in the face of something I never wanted to own up to. I still don't, but I'd be an utter lier if I didn't face the fact that I have to officially use the term (once in a blue moon)


UGH! I even hate typing the word, let alone adding it on to the adjectives that can be used to describe me! And yet there it is. I looked myself full in the face through my bathroom mirror the other morning, and after a few minutes of rebelling against the truth, I mentally admitted to my inner self that yes, I am domesticated. how did this realization come about? It has to do with a vacuum cleaner...

I have never had decent luck with vacuums, but I have also never bothered to purchase a decent one. Vacuums are an annoyance, a have to, something I didn't want to waste precious finances on if I could spend it instead on other fun things when we had a couple extra bucks to spare. Our last house was mainly hardwood floor so it became even less of an issue for years. When we moved to NC, I purchased a little electric floor sweeper that did the job alright enough for me. It did ok enough on the few carpeted areas we had that I never really cared about having a real vacuum. We did get one once, and it died after 5 months, probably from consuming too many Lego pieces left behind. Im sure it choked to death.

But then we moved to our new home and this place is covered in carpets. WHITE carpets! (Ok maybe not white anymore, but they were white when we moved in...) And seriously any little crumb on the floor was visible from the other side of the room. What sucks even more is that for some reason, some idiot thought it would be a REALLY GOOD IDEA if the dining room floor was white carpet. Obviously these morons are not parents. But I digress.

For a few months I made do with my little electric sweeper. It took 4-5 sweeps to get all of the crumbs off the carpet, but I made do as best I could. Until it got to be too much. I found myself bouncing between trying to vacuum everyday (not fun) or going a week without vacuuming, because let's face it.... the crumbs would be back in 5 minutes with 2 little boys in the house, and I didn't have the energy to spend 15 minutes a day cleaning one damn carpet. I recognized something needed to change. And that change meant I needed a real honest to goodness vacuum. One that I could pull out and clean the carpets in 5 minutes instead of 15-20. One that got deep down and pulled up any dust meshed into the fabric. One that survived Legos.

So I did what any Mom in my situation would do. I asked my friends. I popped on TM and asked all the moms to tell me about their vacuums. Which did they like? which survived for long periods of time? How much did they cost? Was it worth it? within a day I had 2 pages of women all over the triangle telling me about their vacuums. and the one that won the most raves hands down was a Dyson.

It was eye opening, in a funny way, reading the posts, to realize that I had no clue what the hell a Dyson was. People who had them LOVED them! People who didnt, knew they were good. Me? I had to google what a Dyson even was. Now I knew they were going to be expensive but my eyes nearly popped out of my socket when I saw the myriad of price tags. Holy hell!!! Vacuums are flipping expensive!!!!! But everyone said that it was totally worth the investment. and when you have that many women all agree on one thing, you have to take note.

So I took my information and laid it out before J. I needed a new vacuum for my happiness. My happiness equaled his happiness. He would also be happy because I could actually make our floor clean(er). And if we were going to get a real vacuum I wanted one that would last longer than 5 months.I told him I asked around for reviews and had a bunch who said Dyson was the way to go. I warned him they were expensive, but it was a good investment. You know, for clean floors and our mutual happiness, etc.

He listened to my case, said he would do his own research, and we would talk that night at dinner. Come dinner time, a pale faced J walked upstairs, sat down for dinner, and said that he had done his own research.
 "And" I ask?
"Holy hell those are expensive."
"But all the reviews I read also said it was worth the investment. You sure you want this?"
"Want? No. Need? We need it."
"OK then."


And so my dilemma began. I actually got excited to purchase a vacuum. Like it was some trip to a day spa or something instead of some $300 tool that sucks up crumbs and scares babies with its loud noise. I was impatient as I waited for our new vacuum to arrive. I couldn't wait to try it out!!! I was gonna suck up all that dust and dirt and crumbs in no time flat! But as I thought this, there was a small inner voice inside my head mocking me. Seriously?, it would say. You're THAT excited over a vacuum? What the hell happened to you? You're as excited as you would be if you were off to see your favorite metal band play. Wow, B, you have really fallen low. You're like, domestic or something. How adult of you. How sad...

No matter what I did that voice was always there. And it hasn't shut up. I think I have to come to terms with the fact that yes, I am domestic before it goes away. I'm a Stay at home mom with 3 boys, a kick ass loving and supportive husband, and I volunteer at a mother support site. I am a gamer chick, and can virtually kick your butt with a dagger, crossbow, and sword, while wearing leather corsets and knee high boots. I listen to heavy metal in foreign languages, have my red stripe in my black hair, my 2 tattoos and nose ring. My van has skulls on it. AND I love my Dyson vacuum.

So yeah, I'm domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to succumb to boring. Right?