Birthdays: Fantasy Vs. Reality

My birthday is almost here. Yup. Good old 31. Not as cool as 30, but it will suffice. I'm not one to care about the number so long as it rolls off the tongue nicely. 31. Thirty One. Thirtyone. Yup, it'll do. Age for me is just a number anyways. Some days I'm really 13, giggling when someone farts or belches, immediately thinking naughty thoughts when I hear certain key words or phrases. Other days I'm 67, ready to retire, put my feet up, and call it quits. It's never a static number, always constantly changing.

Birthdays themselves are one of my favorite days of the year. Why? Because selfishly I feel that birthdays should be about the person. Therefore my birthday is about ME and what I want to do that day. Well it used to be. Nowayears, with three kids, that's not really the case. And thats ok. Most of the time. I'm still a little irked I didn't get my fantasy 30th birthday bash as promised years ago by J to fly me to Las Vegas and we would go bar hopping. However I was *ahem* pregnant at the time, so it would have been a little awkward to carry that fantasy out. It was one reason I was ticked off I got pregnant in the first place (Soren was a happy anniversary gift). Now granted, I'm more than happy now Soren is with us. Hell, he's probably my lifeline to sanity most days. But sometimes, there is a very selfish part of me that wants my day to go exactly as fantasized. So here is my fantasy birthday, and what will most likely be my reality birthday:

FANTASY BIRTHDAY MORNING:
Wake up no earlier than 10 AM and on my own. Alternate: Wake up no earlier than 10 AM with my sexy husband kissing my neck, completely disregarding my morning breath (no wait, this is fantasy... I have no morning breath) with the door locked, or better yet kids at Grammys, so we can be blissfully uninterupted as he wishes me a very Happy Birthday


REALITY BIRTHDAY MORNING:
Woken up at 6:15 AM to hear the first fight of the day begin, with Xavier and Ashe warring over who gets control of the TV or computer first. Throw J's pillow over my head to drown out the shrieks of outrage and try to pass out again. Wake up again at 7:30 to Xavier banging the door open, yelling "Happy Birthday Mom!" with Ashe shadowing and mimicking his older brother "HAPPY BIRFDAY MOMMY!" Commence jumping onto the bed (Ashe whining for help because the bed is too high for him to get up on his own), my bewbs getting smooshed as Ashe scrabbles over me to claim J's side of the bed, Xavier whining that he was going to sit there, a knee in my stomach as they start to battle it out on who gets the coveted piece of mattress.

FANTASY BIRTHDAY BREAKFAST
Mimosa with a side of bacon, toast, and eggs for breakfast, followed by a steaming pot of coffee, and a bar of chocolate

REALITY BIRTHDAY BREAKFAST:
coffee and cereal

FANTASY BIRTHDAY DAY:
wash cut, blow out with my stylist, followed by a 2 hour body massage, and pedicure, while drinking wine and eating chocolate covered strawberries throughout the day. J and I would then undo all of that beauty regime by locking ourselves away in our house and having some fun. Of course, the boys are all at grammys.

REALITY BIRTHDAY DAY:
wash, cut, blowout with a JR stylist (because my stylist was booked for that day and I just cant wait anymore for a cut... it's been since September folks and I, a former hairstylist, hang my locks in utter shame) followed by a frantic dance of vehicles while we pick up Xavier from school (yes he has school on Saturday due to a make up snow day... we do year round schools for those reading scratching their heads in bewilderment) followed by a quick bite to eat, maybe some food shopping since we have nothing in the house right now except for a box of Ritz crackers, pancake mix, and half a gallon of milk. Then putzing on the computer, getting work done, or maybe trying to finish the promotion video I'm working on. If I'm lucky I'll try and pop on my game for a bit and go hit things with my virtual sword, all the while cuddling with, answering questions from, and being harassed by my adorable children.

FANTASY BIRTHDAY NIGHT:
J and I head out to a cozy restaurant, just the 2 of us, where we gaze into each others eyes, our feet begin foreplay footsies under the tablecloth, then we drive home, uncork a bottle of red, and honor the ancient celtic holiday Beltane (can I just say how much I adore the fact my birthday is on Beltane? Don't know that holiday? Go look it up. It's the Best. Holiday. Ever.) by doing what married couples do. (OK if this was true fantasy I'd add in a bonfire in a field with perfect outdoor weather and no neighbors for miles around. However we live in a townhome in the center of a large town, so that would be REAL FANTASY) 

REALITY BIRTHDAY NIGHT:
J and I head out to a cozy restaurant, and then a bar, where we will inevitably talk abut our kids, maybe finances, our computer game. Then we'll head to a bar, chat some more, then head home. J will make a beeline for his computer, I will entertain Grammy for a few minutes (who is babysitting) and then I'll probably head back to my computer, and in the end, J and I will sleepily head upstairs to bed, and with a yawn, a kiss and a Happy Birthday babes, we'll pass out.


I realize my fantasy birthday is just that: a fantasy. That's why they are called so. And I think that now, as a Mom, if I actually had a true fantasy birthday, the reality would be that while I was being pampered, Id miss my kids. I'd miss their sticky kisses, and arguing discussions and... just them being them. I'll have plenty of time once they have grown up and left the nest to have my fantasy birthdays. For now, while I fantasize about how awesome it would be for just one whole day with me, the reality is, I'd get bored.

Now that doesnt mean to say I won't grab a bottle of red, some chocolate, my Ipod, and a book, and lock myself in the bathroom for an hour. I mean a whole day to myself is one thing. But I'm more than happy to take a full hour and have no feelings of guilt ;)