...my child sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Moms Turn to Ask "Why"?

Why is it that we Parents have a hard time figuring out the Parental controls on both tv and computer, yet my 9 month old and 3 yr old can mash a few buttons on the keyboard and either lock the computer, or bring up programs I never knew I even had? Adding insult to injury I can never find those programs on my own either.

Why does it take 2 types of screw drivers (3 different sizes each) 1 pair of scissors, 1 machete and a blowtorch to remove 1 Little People person from the toy packaging?

Why do toy makers make the most obnoxious and loudest toys the most desirable? Do they hate parents and have it out for them?

Why do your friends bring your child the most loud and obnoxious toy they can find as a birthday gift? Do people do this for giggles? *Note to my friends. Yes, I take note of what you give my children. And yes, as I scour the toy aisle I look for something far worse, far more loud, and by far, more obnoxious for your children as payback. Think about that before you pick up that Barney doll you think Soren must have*

Why is it I always find loose change in my car, jangling in every crevice when I dont need it, yet the moment I park in a spot with a parking meter it all mysteriously disappears?

Why cant I find toilet paper that comes in separate pieces, instead of a continuous roll, constantly enticing my 3 yr old to put the end in the toilet, then flushing to see the whole thing go down?

Why can't any mom park in the Expectant Mother Parking spots? Arent we all expectant moms? I know I'm still expecting my kids to learn No means No and not maybe, yes, we'll see, ask your father, if you ask me 33 more times my answer might change.

Why are they called Happy meals? No one is ever happy with them in my household. The kids fight when they get different toys (which is almost every time) and I fight with them to eat the food first before they even contemplate opening up the toy they're not happy with.

Why does everyone in my family suddenly crave Chic-Fil-A and BBQ only on Sundays?

Why are mobile babies instantly attracted to electric sockets, carbon monoxide alarms, and anything dangerous or loud? I dont see the same desire to play with the $64 educational toy located at the same eye level? In fact it's collecting dust over there in the corner.

Why do we buy $64 educational toys for our second and third children, even after history has shown us with our older children those toys are never played with or loved as much as the toilet paper rolls are? Or electric sockets and carbon monoxide alarms....

Why is it the moment I mop the floor and put the mop away something disastrously spills?

Please feel free to add your own in the comment box below!


Keren said...

Why does Spidey not want to eat the food that I am giving him and when I give up and get my own food he is suddenly famished and NEEDS to eat mine?

Helene said...

OMG, this is hysterical! You are SO right about the happy meals!! Someone's always pissy because they don't like the toy or they got less french fries than the other kids!

I think you're argument about expectant mothers is completely accurate!!!

Thanks for the laugh today!

Becka Marsch said...

These are awesome!!!!