...my child sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Monday, January 30, 2012

My Little Exhibitionist

ex·hi·bi·tion·ism (ks-bsh-nzm)n.

1. The act or practice of deliberately behaving so as to attract attention.

2. Psychiatry A psychosexual disorder marked by the compulsive exposure of the genitals in public.

It is normal for little ones to strip down to their skivvy's. It is normal for little ones to resist bedtime. It is normal for little ones to assert their Independence by doing the two statements above.

But is it normal for little ones to resist going to bed, whisking off all clothing and dance on their windowsill for the neighbors pleasure each night?

Soren seems to think so.

The past few nights Soren has decided that once the light is turned off and the door closed, he can start his own strip club. He's even got the music and lights going (lullaby's from around the world and a ladybug stuffed animal that lights up stars on the ceiling). While I get that nakedness is normal, it is a pain in the ass to have to run up three flights of stairs to replace his Diego pull ups so there are no accidents.

However, its not the nakedness that bugs me. Hell, all three of my kids at that age preferred to have nothing on as much as possible. There were no pants to have accidents in. They could play with their nipples and penises to their utter delight. I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to walk around nude more often if they could get away with it?

My concern is more for our neighbors sake. You see, once the lights go down, and the musics on, Soren has taken to stripping down on his windowsill and dancing for the neighbors. And with his bedroom on the third floor, I assure you, NOTHING is hidden.

The other night we were raiding in game. We had Vent on, and were chatting with our friends around the country as we prepared to kick some pixellated ass. One of our guildies has a 6 month old daughter and we could hear her happily chirping away in the background whenever he spoke. At one point he said how she was such a delight and was the perfect darling baby.

A few minutes later Ashe came running down the stairs yelling "DAAAAAD!!!! SOREN IS DANCING NAKED IN THE WINDOW AGAIN!!!" J yelled "AFK!" in vent and ripped off his headset while I sat there rolling my eyes. I quipped to my friend with the baby that he better enjoy her perfection now because in two years, he'd be dealing with a naked girl dancing in the window and have to run AFK like J.

Most of us in the guild are parents and can appreciate both the horror and humor that goes with raising little ones. This started us off on a run of "What my kid did to drive me crazy this week", and commentaries of how their own kids strip naked and do weird things at night. It's nice to have a bunch of friends who get this whole parenting thing, and can sympathize with you, trading war stories of their own. Fortunately no one had their neighbors complain to them. I'm knocking on wood our neighbor's were once parents themselves, and will be understanding if Soren continues his little exhibitionist behavior. Maybe their kids danced naked in the windows at some point too.

1 comment:

Big Fat Gini said...

That's the nice thing about living around a bunch of college students. They think that stuff is hilarious. And it's better that they get it out of their system now, rather than doing it at like...church. Or a funeral.

See? Silver lining.