...my child sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Grossed Out

I have three boys. And when you have three boys it takes a lot to gross you out. Puke? No problem. Poop smears? Small potatoes. Green boogers dripping out of noses? Bring it. Watching your kids lick the boogers off their faces... ok I admit that one makes me shudder.

But I just recently encountered one thing that still makes me cringe when I mentally replay the scenario and how I almost lost my tough mom pin.

Soren has reached the Independence stage in his life. He must do everything on his own with no help. He doesn't care if we have plans to meet friends at the park and it takes him 45 minutes to take off his shirt for a new one. Dammit he will make you wait while he does it himself, thankyouverymuch. And often times I just hang out on the sidelines, allowing him to earn pride when he does something on his own.

Today he decided that he and he alone would be responsible for wiping up after going potty. I insisted that while he could try, I was putting down my foot and would wipe last just in case. He considered this for a moment and nodded. Post poop, he grabbed a wipe and did a very good job in cleaning himself up. Didn't gross me out. But then he did the most unthinkable thing ever..... he started bringing that nasty wipe up towards his face to wipe his nose.

At that moment time slowed down to a crawl and I lunged toward him, WATCHING that wipe rise higher and higher. I heard this loud NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that sounded oddly like Darth Vader. In the back of my mind I realized it must be me denying the vision I was seeing in front of me.

 My hand darted out slowly, oh so freaking slow and I reached, REACHED to grab that offending wipe before it could connect to my sons face. He glanced up startled, and that one moment of pause brought time speeding up to normal and I grabbed the wipe and tossed it in the toilet!

We both stood there staring at one another for a moment, he perplexed, I panting while trying to hold the contents of my stomach in. Then he tilted his head to the side considering what had just happened,shrugged andturned to get a clean wipe for his nose.

Ewww! Just... EWWW!!!


Goddess984 said...

Yeah I don'e even know what to say to that. That kind of thing sends me straight to a corner to rock in the fetal position!

Julie said...

hahahaha oh my!! This made me laugh so hard!!!

I found your blog through the Weekend blog hop and thought I would stop by and say hello.

Great blog!!


SRM said...

@Goodess, yeah it takes a lot to make me want to puke, but I think any parent faced with that would feel the same way as you. Thanks for the comment!

@Julie, glad I could make you laugh! That's what this blog is all about =) Thans for the comment and I'll go check out your blog now!

Tanisha said...

B that one made me laugh out loud and then cover my mouth with my hand as I continued to read it. On one hand it is great that he thought about wiping his nose with a wipe instead of his sleeve, but then again, it was really bad timing on that decision. :) I am glad that you were able to get that one. Love ya!