Silent Week

Recently my mom lost her job as a day care provider. I feel really bad for her because it wasn't anything she had done, but because she was one of the higher paid employees (due to 35 years of experience as a teacher) and the center decided to hire three new teachers with much lower pay. And they did it badly too. One week she was raved about how awesome she was. The next week she got written up for leaving her purse on her desk at lunch time and other little things that are stupid and they "let her go". Through the grapevine I have heard that four of the parents who had kids in her class are leaving the daycare because this happens often and they loved her. My mom is a good teacher. It sucks this happened and I hope that she doesn't let it get her down too much.

But she needs support. And what better support can we offer than to throw our kids on her doorstep so she doesn't have time to mope. So that's what happened. My mom called to ask for the boys, I said yes, and she picked them up the following day. When they are coming back is TBD. All I asked was that they were home before Easter. I get nightly phone calls to hear about the boys day, where they buried their Angry Bird stuffed animals in the sand box, or got to see the new kittens born in my moms garage (by the way, anyone want a kitten?). It's been four days since they left and they are still rocking it at Grammies.

Xavier stayed home with us due to school. He actually was excited about being the only one home and gets to have total control of the computer or tv without Ashe or Soren annoying him. J and I took him out to his first fancy dinner which he enjoyed.

But this Monday morning, as I was driving him to school he asked me when his brothers were coming home.
Me: "I don't know. I talked to the boys last night and they sounded happy. Ashe asked to stay until summer."
Xavier:" He's not really staying that long, is he?"
Me: "No, they have to be back by this weekend. It's Easter this Sunday."
Xavier: "Oh".
Me: "Why, do you miss them?"
Xavier: "Yeah, I think I do."
Me: "It's pretty quiet at home without them around to annoy you, isn't it?"
Xavier, sighing: "Yeah. It's almost... too quiet."
Me: "I know what you mean."

And I do. Because, despite the fact that Ashe and Soren are constantly bickering, or trashing the house, they give our house a sense of vitality and life. Even when it's just J, Xavier and I, the house is too quiet for all of us. It doesn't seem right. A big part of our family is missing and we don't feel completely whole without them. It's funny how you can bitch and moan when the kids are killing each other, or whining about dinner, or singing Dora for three hours straight and you want to hit the vodka bottle in the morning. But then when they're gone for just a little while, you realize that you miss that. Because THAT is life with a family. THAT, while headache inducing, is what makes everything right in the world. We can only take so much silence and time to ourselves before we wonder what we ever did with our time before our children joined our world.

I got my reading done. I got to shop for a dress without having to chase little kids around the store. I got to catch up on my blogging. I got to eat fancy dinners. I got to sleep in. I got to game to my hearts content. And now, four days later, I'm bored. I need sound. I even turned up the tv super loud this morning just for some background noise. Because it's too quiet.

I have three more hours until I have to pick up Xavier. I may have to call my mom and see if she's coping better and if I can have my kids back soon. Cause I miss them. We all do.