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Monday, June 3, 2013

Irony on Survival

Tonight during dinner, I asked J if he would like to hit the trails at Bond Park for a good walk. Since the kids are hanging out at the G-rents all week, we could actually try one of the more difficult trails. And I figured that since I spent my day doing nothing but playing around on Pintrest and demotivational poster websites, that a good hike was in order. J agreed.

So off to the park we went. And we had a jolly good time, weaving through the dense foliage, wandering around the perimeter of the lake. I, of course, kept my eyes out for those pesky copperheads that like to blend in to mother nature, as well as the gigantic tree roots that patterned the trail.

As we wandered through the woods, waving hello to the stray jogger or two, we had all sorts of fun conversational topics. Like, what we would do if this  MERS-CoV virus morphs into something so contagious that, like the bubonic plague, it would devastate half of the worlds population. I was all for fleeing to the middle of nowhere, building us our own cabin, and living off the land with traps and shit. I told J that we should head back to Harris Teeter right now and stock up on more Deer Park water jugs that were on sale this week for $1 a galleon. J asked how the hell would we build our own cabin or trap animals to live off of. I said we should take the time that we have, research this shit, and print out instructions to take with us when the world starts going crazy. J wanted to know if we should have an emergency kit filled with hammers and other things. He has a good point. We may also need to head over to Lowe’s this weekend.

We continued debating the pros and cons of fleeing civilization if an epic plague descended upon us (please remember that we are a stay at home mom and a software engineer) we both began to notice that it was beginning to get dark. Darker than it should have been for that time of day. Both of us stopped in our tracks and glanced up, beyond the tree line and stared.

“That doesn’t look good” J said, and I nodded silently. Right above us, seemingly out of nowhere, was a giant black cloud that was growing bigger and darker by the moment. J fumbles for his phone to check his weather app while I try to decide if it would be better to continue, or if it would be easier to backtrack. As I glance both ways, trying to figure out the best solution I idly mention “At least it’s not a thunderstorm.”


“Awww, shit.”
“Yeeeah, radar says we got red coming up on us and fast.”
Realizing we hadn’t quite made it half way we decide to backtrack. We kept pretty dry staying under the foliage of the trees, but watching wide eyed as it poured over the lake beside us, sheets of rain driven by the wind as it picked up swiftly. We hurried along, asking each other which was safer if lightning began to get bad: should we stay under cover of the forest, or try to get out in the open? I know you’re not supposed to be near anything tall during a lightning storm, but I always think of that as the lone tree in the middle of a field I think I would take my chances in a forest instead of out in the open near the lake.

There is one point that we had no choice. For about a half mile, the trail we had followed was out in the open. We stood at the edge of the forest for a moment, gazing at the downpour, psyching ourselves up for the inevitable. There was just no way in hell that we were going to get out of this unscathed. We looked at each other, counted to three…..

And then we ran!

About one hundred yards in, we realized it was fruitless. We were soaked. Completely, utterly, without a doubt drenched. I don’t know how J could even see, what with his glasses streaming with water. And as we slowed down surrendering to the rain I couldn’t stop giggling. It felt good! It felt freeing! I was like a little kid, throwing my hands up into the air, twirling around and laughing. It’s been a long time since I could connect with nature and just enjoy the ride. I had no choice so I might as well enjoy the moment and memory it created.

Before we got back to our car, I pulled out my phone and snapped a couple of shots of us:

SRM here, laughing my arse off in the pouring rain

I don't know how the hell J could see for the last half of our hike. I want to get him mini windshield wipers ha!

Oh the irony of it all. To be debating how we would survive out in the wild as we forgot to check the weather before heading out on a hike. The humor was most definitely not lost on us. I’m still sitting here, dried off in my PJ’s giggling about the complete absurdity of the situation.

But it was fun and I don’t regret it. I do hope that we can finish the hike tomorrow without rain, but it won’t be as entertaining as it was tonight.

Note to self: Check radar before going out. Also, learn how to make string traps, and how to make a log cabin for a family of five. Just in case….

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