...my child sold your honor student the answers to the test...

Monday, November 9, 2009

RX Lovin'

Some of the parenting issues we all have to face at one point in time, almost all of us can relate to one another. Then there are issues where no matter which side of the fence you're on, the grass is always greener. Take medicine for example.

Most of the parents I know vent at one point or another how much of a pain in the butt it is to get their kids to take medicine when their children need it. And once in a blue moon, when my kids have to take a particularly disgusting antibiotic for something I catch a glimmer of what they mean. But for the most part my kids are terrific at taking meds. So terrific in fact it has become an issue once in awhile, and there is a part of me that laments on why my kids can't be like normal kids and run around the house screaming NO MEDICINE!!!!!!! while I chase them with the cup of Tylenol bribing them with sugary candy.

Take for example Xavier. When he was a toddler we never had an issue with him taking his medicine when needed. I would simply pour out the required amount and he'd suck it down in 2 seconds flat, then smack his lips. I thought I was so lucky to have such an amazing kid who would take some Tylenol or Motrin without complaint. When we lived in Massachusetts we had an upstairs bathroom with a closet and shelves. On the highest shelf is where we kept our medicine and we kept the closet door shut. We were always very careful to keep medicine away from our kids.

Well I vividly remember one day needing to take a shower. And like any mom with a highly inquisitive child who tended to get into trouble if I wasn't 2 feet away I brought Xavier (age 2) into the bathroom with me, hauled in a bunch of toys to keep him occupied and popped into the shower. Every couple of minutes I'd pop my head out of the curtain to make sure he was ok. Somehow between washing the shampoo out of my hair and throwing on conditioner, Xavier opened the closet door, climbed the shelves, grabbed the adult NyQuil, figured out the adult proof... I mean child proof lid, and swigged some down. When I peeked out I saw him swallowing NyQuil from the bottle.

I still to this day can not figure out how he did it so quietly or how he did it at all! But I do know I went into full panic mode. I raced out of the shower conditioner still in my hair, soaking wet and whipped the bottle out of his little hands. I tried to calculate how much he had, but having no idea how much was in there in the first place I was at a loss as to figure out if my lil guy was going to be in a drug induced coma in 5 seconds or 30 minutes. Throwing him under my arm I raced for the phone, sliding down the hallways with wet feet, and called Poison Control (1-800-222-1222 = Learn it, Love it, put it on your fridge!!!!!) and after giving them info they sent me to ER just in case.

I raced to the hospital, usually a ten minute drive in about 4. Then I waited for about 30 minutes until we were seen (which drives me beyond insane). After telling the nurse what happened and getting the most awful dirty look that meant "you are such an awful mom for leaving your son alone with medicine where he could get his hands on it and I don't believe your story for one moment that a child would willingly drink that foul tasting NyQuil...." she came back with a plastic cup filled with black water.
"Coal" she said. "It binds with the medicine in the stomach so he wont be poisoned. Nasty stuff though. You have to force him to drink the entire thing down. He'll spit it out. I'll get you an extra cup of it because you will need it." She handed me a straw and the cup.
I handed them to Xavier and asked him to drink it. He smiled and sucked that cup dry without a wince. I turned back to the nurse, whose eyes were absolutely bug eyed and jaw dropping. I smiled sweetly and said "He'll drink anything. Why do you think we're here in the first place? "

The dirty looks stopped.

We've had to call poison control a few other times for Xavier. Once he ate 5 of my birth control pills (again left up high but he thought they were candy.) Fortunately I learned that boys can get away with eating 10 birth control pills before they need to go to the doctors, but less than ten if your child is a girl. It has to do with the amount of estrogen in the body, you see. I also learned that 3 deadly nightshade berries are not as deadly as you would think but 15 or more is not a good thing.

Fast forward to the present. In the past 30 days we have dealt with 1 case of H1N1, 1 case of pneumonia, 2 cases of Pink Eye, 3 cases of colds/viruses (and a partridge in a pear tree!!!). I've been doling out medicine like Nurse Ratchet to all the males in the family. The other day I was getting Ashe and Sorens antibiotics and eye drops ready for Pink Eye and called out to Ashe to come take his medicine. He walks down the hallway to the kitchen and I hear him comment "AHHHH, DELICIOUS, FABULOUS MEDICINE!"

All I can think of is Here we go again.

1 comment:

Stacey said...

Oh my, you crack me up!!!This is SO my life too! Jamison used to scream every night before going to bed b/c he WANTED medicine!! I had to get colored water in a dropper and try to trick him, but he was on to me! UGHH, it was a mess! Now, as far as the berries among other things, that's ABBY! I knew you got a kick out of her eating things- stories!!!