I'd like to lodge a complaint against Nintendo. It has come to my attention that their most popular games are sexist. I find myself in a reoccurring situation where my children role play their favorite Nintendo games and I am always stuck as the stupid princess who needs rescuing.
Every day Ashe dresses up as Link, his favorite character EVER, and races off to fight Gannon, the evil wizard. And every day he comes up to me with soulful eyes, caresses my cheek and tells me that I am his Princess Zelda, and he will save me. I should not be afraid, because he is brave, and strong, and he will defeat Gannon and rescue me!!!
Ashe will dress up as Mario and come to me with soulful eyes, caress my cheek softly and tell me that I am Princess Peach, and he will save me from the evil Bowser, who has me captive in his dungeon. I should not be afraid for he is brave, and strong!
Ok look. I get that, as the only female in a house of five I will sometimes have to role play for my children characters I don't necessarily like. But c'mon! I don't always want to be the stupid princess that keeps getting caught by evil wizards or turtle dragons!!! I don't want to be told that I will be rescued and to not be afraid! Can't I be someone cool? Someone who can also fight too? Someone who isn't delegated to the couch a la high tower? I want to have my sword and fight evil villains! And I HATE pink dresses!!!! I hate pink in general!!!
I AM NOT A PINK KIND OF FEMALE!!!!!!!
The things I do for my kids. They better remember as they grow up how much I love them. I love them enough to keep my mouth shut and nod at them, and I am polite enough to turn my head away when I roll my eyes, when I am told yet again, that I need to be rescued. And to not be afraid.
Stupid sexist video games.