Learning to Love Math

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Middle school is a whole new experience when it comes to homework. It takes a lot of organization and concentration to get through the piles of work after school. And homework counts for a lot of the total grade. Now add on top of that an ADHD kid with an ADHD mom, and it’s crazy town from 2:30 on, Monday through Friday.

 

In order to make sure that the lesson of organization is pounded into Xavier’s skull on a daily basis, each day when he gets home, we go through his binder, folders, and backpack, cleaning, sorting, and prepping. I also use the nifty school website each afternoon to list out the homework he has, in case he forgot to write it down. It’s only happened once or twice, but it’s a great way to double check. It also helps me because I can’t read Xavier’s scribbles even if my life depended on it.

 

Every weekday, Xavier will decide which lessons to tackle first, and we discuss them as he works on them. I’m finding myself fascinated with the lesson plans he comes home with, and while I don’t help him by giving him answers, I do enjoy learning as he looks stuff up. For example, the other day his social studies homework was to write his name in ancient Sumerian. While he did his own name, I sat down and wrote out the names of the rest of our family.  In Language Arts he had to write a sci-fi Cinderella story. I loved showing him how to make a note timeline for his book, and the next thing I know he has four pages fully written, and so proud of himself.

 

There is one lesson though, that I sit down and do with him every day, and this is math. Now let me clarify: I don’t “do” the math for him. But we’ve established a routine where we each grab a notebook, do the same problem separately, and then check against each other (and the calculator) to see who got it right. And you know what? It’s fun!!!!

 

This is coming from someone who loathes math with the utmost passion! I hated math, still do, and yet… I am actually enjoying (re)learning the mathematical concepts of pre-algebra. A big part of it is because I love watching Xavier grasp the concept we are working on at the time, or figuring it out myself and having the ability to teach it in a way that he understands. That “AHA!” moment he gets is priceless.

 

But I am also enjoying it for myself. I am finding that all of a sudden, the concepts are so much clearer to grasp than they were when I was in middle school myself. Maybe it’s because it is taught differently than when I learned. Whereas when I was in school the formulas were taught by rote, now they are taught with theory. Instead of “this is how you do problem x” it’s “Here is how to figure out problem x and why!”

 

Xavier can briefly describe the theory to me and it makes complete sense! And when the numbers all add up correctly, I feel so excited. Math has eluded me my entire life, and there has always been that teeny tiny voice in the back of my head that whispers “you’re not intelligent enough to grasp math. It’s too far above you.” But it’s not, so nyah!

 

So this becomes a win/win situation. Xavier explains the theory even if it hasn’t clicked. I’ll try a problem and it clicks. Then I can go to him and explain it in different ways, or show him tricks until it clicks for him. And then we sit together with our notebooks, and try to see who can get the correct answer first. We compare our answers, double check with the calculator, and if one of us is wrong, we try to see where we went wrong. It’s become a fascinating way to instill the current concept we're working on and double checking to Xavier, while also making it more enjoyable for him. At the same time, I am also learning, and appreciating the lesson.

 

While I don’t, for any reason, wish to be back in middle school, I am having more fun than I could have thought in helping Xavier stay focused and soak up as much information as he can. It makes me really appreciate how teaching has evolved over the years, and I am very pleased with the school he goes to.

House Full of AD(H)D

Over the last couple of months, J is slowly coming to the realization that he too, may have AD(H)D. Minor, like I have it, but there nonetheless. It has been entertaining to watch him comprehend what a world with AD(H)D is like. I was diagnosed with it as a child, and raising Xavier, I always saw our common ground when it comes to how we correlate with the world surrounding us. However, J, having always been under the impression that it was anxiety issues alone, didn't put two and two together until his new doctor asked him if he might think he has AD(H)D. Since then he has been reading books upon books, trying to determine if AD(H)D was the case all along. And it seems that it might be the case.

I'm actually thrilled with this new turn of events. This means that I can stop blaming myself in the dark corner of my mind, for being the sole parental unit responsible for screwing up Xavier with my genes. It looks like we are equally at fault, yay!

What has been the most entertaining has been watching J read these books about how AD(H)D can show itself, and his realizations on how it affects him. He'll tell me over dinner how, after reading the latest chapter, he learned this awesome new coping skill. It's called a schedule. And you write EVERYTHING down that you need to do, but only choose five things a day to focus on. Otherwise you would get overwhelmed.

Yeah, it's called a calendar. And everyone who knows me knows that if it's not written in my calendar, it doesn't exist. And I call it a busy day if there are three or more things I have to do in one 24 hour period. Even if it's just going to the pharmacy.

Then he mentioned how he learned that AD(H)D people procrastinate, because time doesn't work the same for them as it does for regular people. For example, if you know you have a deadline a week away, the average person will put that time to good use and parcel out time to work on said project a little bit at a time. But if you had AD(H)D, oh no!!!! That is NOT what we do. We physically can't, because that gives us too much time to focus. Instead, we wait until the last moment, panic, and begin what is called hyper focusing. It will be all that we can think of for that short period of time. It causes anxiety, which actually drives us to focus, and complete said project.

I did that all the time in high school, when I would have an eight page essay due. I still do it today with my blog. I lack the focus to sit down in a scheduled fashion and write a blog. Hell, I forget half the crap I want to blog about. Instead, when I have inspiration, I sit down and blog three to ten blogs in one sitting, then schedule them out so you are not inundated.

Another point J read, was that there are only four times we folks with AD(H)D can actually focus:

• When something is new and catches our attention (like my Pintrest/Twitter spree I do once every few months).
• something is of personal interest (reading for me. J finds that if I am into a good book, he literally has to stand in front of me, waving his arms like those guys at the airport who wave planes in, and shout my name three times.)
• something is challenging
• or you have an important deadline and time is running out

This explains my sporadic blog sprees. My blog is most definitely a personal interest, but like any blogger, sometimes it becomes more like work than fun, trying to find interesting things to post about while smacking my head against the monitor, trying to jump start my sarcasm. So you can thank my AD(H)D for acting like a moron and leaving you all to wait for when inspiration jumps me and smacks me down to the ground.

The latest nugget of information J dropped in my lap was that people who have AD(H)D do not "see" clutter. It doesn't register. He wandered upstairs while I was sitting in my recliner and surfing the web, despite the fact that our kitchen sink resembles a high rise in NYC, our bedroom looks like a tornado blew through it, and our dirty laundry pile resembles the leaning tower of Pisa.




Yup, I'd say that statement of clutter is quite accurate.




I'm actually very excited to know that J deals with AD(H)D. For one thing, he has always thought that he had an anxiety issue, or was suffering depression. But now that he is finding all these puzzle pieces that fit together, he seems to recognize what is actually the culprit. With that, he seems to be more relieved and less stressed because there is a VALID reason for why he feels the way he does. And there are tools that can help him.

Also, now that he is recognizing the symptoms, it's like we're suddenly talking the same language. Well, most of the time. We still suffer the XX/XY chromosome language disconnect. But in terms of why we do what we do, it seems that we aren't so different after all. And that makes it easier to  give one another support when we forget things, or act as we do. And as J learns new tools to help him, we can offer these tools to Xavier when he starts middle school and faces tougher deadlines. Having three of us in the family think the same way will help understand and acknowledge upcoming issues.

Lastly, I am just so happy that I am not the sole parental unit who gave poor Xavier the ADHD gene. J can no longer blame me when Xavier is off his meds and running around like a loon. I now can look over at my husband and smile beatifically, then stick my tongue out at him. Ha!

Change

A few weeks ago our family dealt with a loss that devastated the boys, most especially Xavier. Our pug, Grunther, passed away unexpectedly and tragically, after being attacked by my brothers dog. Grunther was Xavier's dog, which we got him when he was two and he asked for a little brother. They were the best of buddies for years, until one fateful day, after being sick, Grunther bit baby Ashe on the cheek. I have a no bite rule in the house, and we were forced to remove him from our home for the safety of the baby (despite it being a one time deal and Grunther had been an amazing dog prior I wasn't taking chances), but my mom offered to take him in so that the kids could still see him when we went to visit.

Grunther lived a long and happy life, and was cherished by the boys and us adults. His death seemed like major karma in how he went, as my brothers dog is also sweet and never bit anyone until that one day.

They day I found out, I waited in dread for the school bus to drop Xavier off because I know he was going to take the news hard. And he did. We spent hours in his room as I held him while he sobbed until he passed out exhausted. It took him weeks to recover back to his normal happy self, and even now, a month later, a shadow of mourning will cross his face, and he will grow pensive as he remembers his faithful puppy.

Which got me thinking:

With ADHD, Xavier sometimes has a hard time developing lasting friendships outside of the gaming world. He has a couple of friends, one who has been his best friend for three years, but even then, they rarely hang out outside of school. Maybe it's due to his friends having crazy tiger mom schedules where they are doing seven different activities a week. Maybe not. I don't know. But I do know that for a kid like Xavier, he needs someone (aside from us family members) who will always be there for him and love him unconditionally. And with middle school right around the corner, where kids can be assholes to the nth degree, and I worry about him fitting in, that need will be even more evident.

While J and I are not dog people, we talked about these issues and agreed that Xavier would really benefit from some sort of relationship with a pet. We just needed time to think. So we did.

With Christmas around the corner, the boys are excited about Santa (yes, my kids still strongly believe and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible). Ashe and Soren have teamed up together to ask Santa for a Wii U. Xavier has asked for a $300 nerf gun, which I promptly told him that even Santa can't always work those kind of miracles. Fortunately we have taught our kids that Santa does not always bring you what you ask for. He gives each gift great thought before giving the "perfect" gift for each child.

And with that in mind, "Santa" has finally figured out the perfect gift for Xavier. J and I have decided that, under the tree will be a kitty carrier with a stuffed kitten and a note, explaining that Santa and parental units have been in touch, and we all agreed that it is time for Xavier to find a companion, a kitten, to love and cherish and take care of. We'll spend the following week searching stores, shelters, etc, and let Xavier choose.

While we mourn the loss and love of our Grunther, I think this will be a way for Xavier's heart to begin to heal, while also giving him a companion that is not mom and dad, whom he can spill his heart to without reservation in the years to come.

I think this will be a wonderful Christmas for the boys. And for us.

Cool Lost

I lost my Mom cool the other night. I admit it. But I'll also say in my defense, it's very hard not to lose you're cool when you're trying to talk to a naked ten year old boy who is unnaturally freaking out....while naked. Did I mention he was naked? Just checking.

After a long day of three kids in the house, surreptitiously trying to kill one another, J and I had finally sat down having conquered bed time. We were sitting on the couch, sipping wine and reading our kindle and Nook, relaxing for the first time all day.

After ten minutes of relaxation, the house decided that we had had enough. For no reason at all, the smoke detector beeped. Now those damn things have either had their batteries recently replaced or were ripped off the ceiling if you remember our last debacle regarding night time detector issues. So this shouldn't have happened!!! One loud BIP, just to piss us off. Both J and I tensed, waiting for Ashe to come running down the stairs sobbing. He never did make an appearance. Instead, it was Xavier, butt naked with his boxers in hands, sobbing.

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED???"
"Its ok, it was just the smoke detector malfunctioning. See, it's all done."
"BUT WHY WOULD IT DO THAT??? OH MY GOD!! IM SO SCARED!!!"
"Zavi, it's ok. There is nothing to be frightened of. The smoke detector just made a little bip. And ummm, why are you naked?"
"I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM!"
" Can you, maybe, put your boxers on? Please?
"BUT IM FREAKING OUT! wHY DID IT DO THAT? ARE WE GONNA DIE??"
" Dude, put your clothes on. Go to bed. You're not going to die."

And yet he continued to freak out, while I continued to hold in my frustration that was growing because I couldn't get it through to him that everything was fine, it was a fluke and WOULD YOU PUT YOUR DAMN UNDERWEAR ON FOR THE LOVE OF BOB???

I actually had to step out on the deck before I lost it entirely. I let J take over before I did something stupid, like start yelling and making things worse. One of my biggest failures as a parent is having no patience after repeating myself more than three times. And when Xavier is off meds and is freaking out, I know there is nothing he can do about his anxiety. But holy hell man, I can't help if he can't calm down enough to let me. It's a vicious cycle I can't get out of during these moments.

Fortunately J is super patient man and can do things I think only super heros are able to do. Which is calm Xavier down enough to put his pants on. And get him back to bed without the use of duct tape.

On one hand I feel bad that I lost my cool. On the other hand, I wonder how the hell this kid is going to survive as an adult if he continues to have these issues of anxiety. Am I going to have phone calls in the middle of the night from a naked grown up child screaming "OH MY GOD A FIRE TRUCK WENT BY! IS MY HOUSE ON FIRE? AM I GOING TO DIE???" Because I seriously can't think of how he is going to cope, all on his own, when things go bump (or Bip) in the night.

And no, he is not staying here as an adult.

Writing For The Win!

My family has a history of atrocious handwriting. I was fortunate enough to bypass this, and my handwriting is actually legible, if you ignore my doctors worthy signature, done in total haste. My father's handwriting is so awful that each time I receive any correspondence from him, it takes J and I hours to sit there and try to decipher it.

My brother also has atrocious handwriting, and while in school, it was utterly painful for him to sit down nightly and write out essays. Both of these family members have ADHD.

Xavier is the same way. He also literally cannot sit down long enough to write out a good essay. Unfortunately come fifth grade, essays will be a big part of his school work. Fortunately, he has an IEP that allows him the use of a computer to type out his essays. Even with a computer at hand it's still hard to keep him on track long enough to write. Because of this, even during vacations, I have to have him sit down daily and practice his writing skills. It sucks for both of us, but over this year he has started to get better. I still need to light a firecracker up his ass once in awhile, but we have gone from him only writing a paragraph per hour to four paragraphs per hour.

Starting this quarter, in order to prepare the kids for fifth grade, Xavier's teacher has started making the kids write weekly book reports. Both Xavier and I groaned loudly at this announcement, knowing it was going to be hell for us each week. But as a team, we sat down and figured out a schedule he could work with, and I would help him look for grammar errors.

The suckiest part of this is that the writing has to be two pages long, and no bigger than twelve font. I saw that and smiled, because if that wasn't in the rules I would have happily let Xavier use 46 font.

I can't even begin to tell you how surprised both of us were when we received his first paper back. Xavier, the one who hates writing, got a 4 on his paper, which for elementary school here, is the highest grade you can get.  One is the worst, three is great, four is above grade level. We were so excited that it is now framed on our fridge.

I guess all that wine chugging and working on vacations worked out. I'm so proud of the little bugger!

Pharmcists and Medication

Sometimes having a child with special needs sucks, and not in the way you would think. While dealing with the issues you know you have to face on a daily basis can be soul grinding at times, it's the things you don't expect to deal with that really slap you upside the head and make you want to go postal that do it.

Take meds, for example. A typical parent doesn't need to worry about medication on a daily basis for their child, nor do they need to schedule in the monthly drive to pick up the prescriptions, and then go get the meds dropped off at the local pharmacy. And if they need meds when their child is sick, it's usually a short term deal.

With Xavier and ADHD, medication is a major part of how he can cope. It's not a be all end all, but when added to behavior modification, a good schedule, and a lot of adults there to help, it allows him to live as normal a life as possible. And his meds are the kind that I can't randomly call up the pharmacist and ask for a refill. I have to contact his doctor every month, drive my ass down there, drive it to the pharmacist, and hope like hell I don't get a new person. Because new pharmacists suck.

Why?

Because every time I get a new pharmacist, I have to go through the rigmarole to prove that YES my son DOES need "all those" medications, and that I am not using him as my recreational drug supplier. I have to slowly spell every ones name, age, birth date, social security numbers, all former names of pets, every address I have ever lived at (which I think I'm now up to 13?) and wave my passport for a stamp of approval. Unfortunately, my local pharmacy has a turn around like a carousel and I have to go through this shit every few months. I think it might be time to find a more stable pharmacy environment.

Then I have to wait to make sure that the pharmacy even has the medications in stock (which half of the time they don't in which I run around in a panic, trying to find another pharmacy that might and deal with a new pharmacist). And then I have to deal with the POS insurance companies, who also think I might be a druggie, and randomly refuse us the meds needed because we put in the prescription 23 seconds too early.

Today I dealt with two of these issues and a new one: my credit card company decided that it wasn't me trying to buy the expensive medication I do every month on the SAME card, but was a thief and refused to approve unless I called and proved it was me.



This morning I met the new pharmacist. She bounced over to the drive through window like Tigger on crack.
Pharm: Hi, may I help you???
Me: Yes, I have three prescriptions to fill. ( I hand them over. She looks at them for a good minute, scrutinizing the doctors signature, making sure it wasn't a photocopy.)
Pharm: Maam, are these prescriptions for you?
Me: No, my son.
Pharm: And he needs all three of these?
Me: Yes
Pharm: Really? He needs both (##) Concerta AND (##) Concerta?
Me: Yes, he does. You can check your records if you wish.
Pharm: Have you filled here before?
Me: Yes. And he has had that same prescription filled here for many months.
Pharm: I see. I am going to go check, ok?
Me: (nodding in resignation and leaning back to catch a quick nap while she raids the files).
Pharm: (5 minutes later) Yes, I see that he has had his prescription filled here before. This is the same one?
Me: Yes.
Pharm: Can you tell me your sons name?
Me: Xavier
Pharm: and his date of birth?

I tell her through gritted teeth and finally she seems to either believe me or she knows I'm about to lunge through the window, grab her cutesy Bugs bunny tie and choke hold her until she puts the damn order in. She checks to make sure they have the medication (someone above realizes I've had enough at this moment because oddly enough they have all three in stock) and I tell her I will pick them up this afternoon.

Which I do, and deal with a new issue entirely, and one that nearly had me ( and the kids) go crazy with how much time we sat with thumbs up our asses.



I have a very specific credit card used solely for medication purposes. For some random reason, this time when I went to pay for Xavir's meds, the credit card company decided to refuse on the basis that they thought the exorbitant prices of meds was not what it was every month, but that the card was stolen. Which meant that I had to call in and prove it was me.
 So I sat there, on hold, for fifteen minutes waiting to talk to a person. And when I finally got a person I realized that in my frustrated haste I called the wrong number. Instead of the credit card company I got a Presbyterian church (which has an 888 number by the way... who knew?).

Instead of waiting on hold again for an ungodly amount of time I asked the pharmacist to try again. If it didn't work Id just come back later. She swiped the card, and voila! It worked. I have a feeling that it wasn't my credit card, but that the new pharmacist fucked up.


Shit like this makes me so grateful for alcohol.

Schooled Out

Yesterday I went to Xavier's school three times. By the end of the night I was starting to feel like I should have bought a backpack and a bagged meal with me.

The first time was for a meeting. I finally met up with Xavier's teachers to discuss his focusing problems. His main issue is that he won't stop talking about his "flavor of the month" during any transition period. This month it's Minecraft. I asked what the teacher did when this happened and I swear, she blushed and looked down, saying she feels bad but she will ask him to stop. I tried very very hard to keep my eye rolling to a minimum, realizing that she may have met a parent or two who would freak out and yell "YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO MY BABY!!!!" And I gave her permission to tell that to my baby as many damn times as she needed to. I told her what I did during homework: if he starts talking about anything nonhomework related it sounds like this:

Me: "is it about homework?"
Xavier:"....um no...?"
Me: "Then I don't want to hear about it until your homework is done."

5 minutes later......

Me: "Is it about homework?"
Xavier:(sighs) "No."
Me: Then get back to homework and tell me when you're done."

The teacher looked both grateful and hopeful after I told her I was totally ok with her doing this in class, and to also let him know that non class related subjects were not to be talked about unless it was during free time, lunch or recess.  We also got his homework cut down. Everyone 'round the table agreed 2-3 hours of math was ridiculous. While I know Xavier will be happy I have to say I am beyond excited to know my weeknights will stop consisting of hours of long division. I did that crap when I was his age. I don't want to do it again.


The second reason was to pick Xavier up from school early. I was called by the school nurse to come pick him up. While he didn't have a fever, she said he looked pale. We ALL look pale! My nickname as a kid was Snow White, and while I may have moved down to a sunnier climate, I can still blend in with paper. But I went to pick him up, and he spent the rest of the day lying down reading or watching movies.

And finally, I had a special education session in the evening. I was asked to be a guest speaker for parents with children with ADHD, and to tell Xavier's story. It was a great experience to meet other parents in similar situations, and to watch peoples eyes light up as I spoke about what we all go through as a family, to see that realization that they weren't the only ones who had seriously crappy mornings before the medication kicked in. It is very very true that misery loves company.


Yesterday reminded me how much I appreciate being an adult and parent. I am so glad I don't have to go to school anymore like the kids do. And I loved the fact that, as an adult, I could (and did) banter with the teachers about it being 5pm somewhere. If I tried that when I was younger, it might have gone on my school record ;)

Morning Miracles

DEEP AND SAPPY BLOG AHEAD!

Throughout the past several months while I haven't been blogging, we've been working hard to help Xavier with his ADHD issues. We had a point where we had to call the Dr and say "you know what? We think something else may be going on. The meds aren't working, and he's sometimes acting like Curious George on crack."

We were referred to a psychiatrist who thought that it might be possible that Xavier may have Bi-Polar, but it wasn't concrete enough to give an official diagnosis. it does run in the family. After talking to family members so I had enough information to hand over to doctors while we tried to figure things out, I found out my paternal grandmother was Bi-Polar. I knew she had been in a mental hospital at one point in time, but never knew the official diagnosis.

That said, we're still working with severe ADHD, and if things start to change again, we will revisit it, as suggested by the Dr. He is too young right now, and too low on the spectrum for it to be diagnosed anyways. We (combined minds of several doctors and parents) think that his Curious George Mentality happened when he outgrew his medication. So over the past few months we have been trying to find the right medication, and the perfect dose.

Yay that we finally found it!  It took awhile and we had some rocky moments, both in school and at home. But the special education resources at his school are amazing, and I have developed a bond with his special education teacher. We're actually now working together with other parents to create informational sessions for new parents with children with special needs. Its amazing how much help it can be to know you are not alone when you have a child who is not "typical."

But still, the mornings and evenings can be tough, even with the right meds. Before meds kick in, Xavier is like to bounce all over the place, unable to focus for more then three seconds on one thing. He bothers his brothers by getting in their space, which causes epic tantrums from all three (add four if you want to include J who deals with the kids in the morning.) And at night when the meds have worn off, he's again, all over the place.

Until two weeks ago, when, one morning, Xavier woke up at 6:15, an hour earlier than his brothers. J gave him his booster meds with breakfast, and without anyone around for him to bother, Xavier was quietly able to get his school stuff ready, and had plenty of time to play before we had to leave for carpool. By the time the two younger boys woke up, he was engrossed in his own thing and didn't bother them while they had breakfast. It was a huge change. Normally I wake up to everyone yelling or screeching, and J losing his patience. This time I woke up to happy smiling faces.

 It was such a profound difference that J decided to try it each morning. Xavier got a Lego alarm clock for Christmas, and we set the alarm for 6:15. J sets his for the same time, and each morning, they quietly walk downstairs together, have breakfast, get things ready for school, then Xavier goes off to play quietly.

And every morning, EVERY morning, it has been...peaceful. It's odd and wondrous at the same time. At one point you want to smack yourself upside the head and wonder why you didn't think of trying this before? Could it truly be that if we had tried this years ago, we would have had a more peaceful morning?

Not only are the mornings great, but because he gets his booster early in the morning, Xavier can take his real medication a little later in the morning, which allows it to last longer through the day. Which means that he can focus better on his homework, and he is calmer, and more able to socialize with the family without anyone going crazy!!! It's a freaking miracle!!! I finally have this kid, whom I adore but could never really have a conversation with him without him being silly or losing focus, BUT NOW I CAN!!!! I can sit with him, and we can talk, and we can listen, and we can joke together, and it's not hard!!! It's amazing! And I can see it in him too, that he is loving this new found ability to really join in on family stuff without losing his ability to control his impulses. He can play with his brothers without ticking them off. He's become this big hero to Soren, who now follows him around like a puppy. Soren will now do anything to make his brother laugh. And where once Ashe and Xavier were always playing a metaphorical tug-o-war, the bickering is so much less and they are really beginning to create a bond of friendship.

Xavier has always had a hard road to walk. Even with parents who would do anything for him, and friends, it's tough having to deal with stuff like this, things you would not wish on anyone. And the sad aspect is that most likely, he will always have to deal with ADHD and how it will affect his life. It will affect everything: work, home, social, love.... Things we take for granted on a daily basis are a hundred times more difficult for him, even with medication and a lot of support.

BUT... I gaze in wonder at my oldest son lately, my husband the genius who put two and two together, and my happy family, where the quarrels are almost nonexistent now ( ok well, lets say normal for a family of five...) and I am filled with such gratitude and hope. Hope that no matter what we go through, we go through it together, and as a team, there may always be new things to find to help our son on this path called life.