Phone Etiquette

Not having a land line phone (cell phones only in this family), I admit to the fact that my children dont have too much of a chance to work on their phone etiquette. My bad. But I'm not going to pay a monthly fee for the ability of my kids to practice what to do on the off chance it's a Blue Moon and Jupiter is rising in the twelfth house and they get a phone call or need to call someone.

Last week Xavier brought home a tiny slip of paper with faded writing on it that looked kind of like numbers. He proudly informed me they constituted a phone number to his friend Christopher so that they could call each other and make a playdate. Great, I thought. A chance to add one more kid into the mix, one I don't know and probably hates all types of food except Tortellini and I'll be expected to feed him. I readily admit I am awful about play dates when the mom is not planning on staying. Despite the argument that it's great because the boys will keep each other entertained and out of my hair I have found the exact opposite to be true. Generally they sit around whining for things to do but shooting down every suggestion I offer, or want to eat but hate everything in the house, from chicken nuggets, to hot dogs to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then Ashe wants to join in and play with them, but they shut the door in his face and I'm left comforting a sobbing kid who only wants to have fun but is shunned and doomed to sit with Mommy, who is frankly, a lot more boring than his older brother and a new potential friend, in Ashes eyes.

Enough of my tangent. So phone etiquette.

With today being a snow day Xavier is bouncing around the house like a pogo stick on speed, crashing into everything remotely possible to crash into. He and Ashe are at it like 2 starving cats fighting over a poor mouse. I have tried, Moon Sand, Wii, Batman, coloring. Everything turns into a war between the two. After days (I mean hours) of this Ashe finally finds soemthing to do on his own and Xavier is wandering around aimlessly. As Im cleaning up the kitchen he saunters in and his eye catches sight of the tiny scrap of paper hung on the fridge.

"Mom, can Christopher come over today?"
"No, hon, the roads are really bad right now with ice, which is why you're not in school. It wouldnt be a good idea to have him have to drive over. But you can call him if you want."
"Really??"
"Sure. Here, I'll dial the number and you call. You know what to do right?"
"Ummm...... no."
"No? Seriously?"
"No, Mom."
Ok then mom, time to step up to the plate and teach your son ...

How to Use The Phone

1. Have Mom dial the number

2. Put the phone to your ear and wait for someone to pick up

3. When someone says hello you say "Hi, may I please speak to Christopher?"

4. When they ask who is calling you say "This is his friend Xavier."

5. If no one is home and you get the voicemail, wait for the beep and say "Hi this is Christophers friend, Xavier. I just called to say hello. My number is 867-5309  (no, that is not our number and I didnt teach him that... but it would be kind of funny now that I think about it.)

We go over this a few times until he feels comfortable and ready. So I dial the number. 4 different numbers to be exact because due to the fading pencil markings and the fact the numbers are really hard to read I keep getting the wrong number. Oops. Finally dialing the correct number, I hand the phone over to Xavier and he wanders off into the dining room while I continue cleaning up. After a spell of silence I feel a tap on my shoulder. Xavier is holding up the phone to me and says 

"Mom, it was voicemail."

"Ok hon, did you leave a message?"

"No, I forgot what to say."

"So, you hung up without saying anything?"

"Oh no Mom, that would be rude!"

"So what did you do?"

"The voicemail is on right now."

"...Right now? As in its hearing us talk?"

"I think so."

"Ok Xavier, lets go over this one more time. Please hang up the phone and we'll try again."

Sigh

After another 5 minutes of practice and prep talk he finally tried again and got it right. And he felt confident after that. But if Christophers mom somehow stumbles on this blog, I am truly sorry about the first voicemail. I didnt mean to make your phone or your son a lesson for my son. I hope we didnt waste too much space as I have no idea how long Xavier waited to tell me he had your voicemail going. I owe you a coffee! Even better, I'll man up and let the kids come here to my house the first couple of times.